This week I trusted a new friend and was rewarded with kindness and compassion. Not always the case, I assure you, but in my 44 years on this earth one of the most important lessons I’ve learned is: Don’t let the fear of feeling foolish stop you from reaching out to someone else. I was 39 when I learned that lesson, and The Universe was not so kind in its teaching. Remember: if you don’t listen, it has to talk louder. (Mel’s Life Lesson 1996)
Anyhow, this new friend is a man. <gasp> I know, right? I’m friends with a man who isn’t my husband. No, I wasn’t hitting on him, and no, he wasn’t hitting on me, but we were having a conversation and he did something, unintentionally, that was sexy. He had trusted me with some personal news, and after our conversation I reached out to him trusting (hoping) that I could speak honestly with him about his unintentional sexiness. (That’s what I write about in my non-blog writings, remember?) I knew he could misunderstand and react as many have, but my Life Lesson 2012 was still ringing loud in my ears… and I leapt. The “net” appeared in the form of unquestioning acceptance and a gentle response. And so this week’s blog inspiration found me… platonic friendships.
It’s not Friends with Benefits, but really the Benefits of Friendship – without the rules of romance to gum up the works. Let’s look at the benefits of having a Platonic Best Friend (PBF):
1. Honesty. Your lover may be afraid to tell you that your new hair-do looks like a chocolate covered cherry, but your PBF will tell you straight out it’s a hair-don’t.
2. It gives you another perspective. I’m a girl and I think like a girl. Granted some of my thoughts are more like a dude’s, but I still see and feel things like a girl. Having guys who are friends gives me their perspective and insight into the Mechanisms of Man-Brain, and vice versa.
3. It helps you be an adult. You’re going to have to learn to work with people of the opposite sex, without utilizing the benefits of your sexuality. Having friends who are the opposite gender allows you to develop this skill.
4. Unconditional love and support. Without the expectation of a romantic relationship you’re free to be there for each other during tough times, and good times. Your PBF knows you, warts and all, and knows what you’re capable of. He’ll gently (or not so gently) nudge you when you’re stalled, and cheer your successes.
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5. You don’t worry what other people think: People will pry, assume, and judge you regardless of what you do. Similar to Mel’s Life Lesson 2012, don’t let the fear of other people’s opinion stop you from having a worthwhile relationship. I’m not saying you should do things that would make your spouse or lover insecure, but having an opposite-sex friend is so beneficial you shouldn’t let the opinion of strangers determine who you are friends with.
When I met my husband his best friend was a girl. They’d known each other for almost 20 years, had been there for each other through the births of their children, rocky marriages that eventually ended in divorce, and were not a couple – just best friends. She calls him her “brother,” he loves her and will be there for her if she ever needs anything, and she’s always there for him. I wasn’t threatened by their friendship. I appreciated (and still do) the fact that my husband has the capacity to love and care for people. I’m glad to say now she’s also one of my best friends. I love her dearly and would do anything for her. And isn’t that what we need in this world? More love?
This week, my reader, I encourage you to embrace and strengthen your platonic friendships. You’ll be rewarded with honesty, perspective, and a lifetime of friendship.
My thoughts are my own, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale), Instagram (write2unpack), or Twitter (@write2unpack). If you have any topics you’d like to talk about, reach out to me at write2unpack@gmail.com. Oh, hey, and if you sign up to follow me you’ll never miss a post!