I was talking with The Best Husband Ever about how sexy and attractive it is when a guy is nice. You know, common courtesy not being that common. I like it when a guy holds the door for me, looks me in the eye and pays attention to the words I’m saying, or smiles and waves me in when I’m waiting in traffic. That got me to thinking, “Why is it they say nice guys finish last? Do nice guys really finish last?” And so this week’s inspiration found me musing about common courtesy.
Every girls says she wants a nice guy, but nice guys always seem to get the short end of the stick. So, DO nice guys finish last? My thought… yes. Here’s why:
The Bad Boy: The excitement of being with someone who shirks societal norms, someone who practically oozes confidence, and has a reputation of being a bit of a “player.” Girls like that. It’s exciting and invigorating to be with someone like that, and super confidence building to be with someone who’s so confident themselves. But who wants to have a long-term relationship with someone you’re never quite sure is devoted to you and only you?
The Nice Guy: Someone who remembers to bring you flowers, every time. Text messages you regularly and as expected. Agrees with everything you say, even when he doesn’t. These guys are great for first dates. They treat a lady well and are so agreeable if you want Thai and he’s allergic to chilies and garlic he’ll tell you it’s a great idea. The reason he’ll finish last is just that. A Nice Guy will never stand up for himself. He doesn’t believe he’s worth the fight and thinks he’ll never get what he wants. He’s scared to do what he wants to do and actually live his own life. Great for first dates… not so great for long-term relationships.
The Exceptional Man: Women want a man who is sure of himself, has control over his life, and can take care of things his way. Someone who treats people well and will stand up for his values. A man who is confident, loving, and devoted to his girl – but not afraid to stand up to her either. He’s open to having difficult conversations, and will address things head on. He’ll fight for you, but he won’t beg. This guy will give a girl the mystery of The Bad Boy, the chase The Nice Guy won’t, and the devotion and care a long-term relationship requires.
So there you have it. Nice guys will finish last because he won’t stand up for himself like The Bad Boy, and he doesn’t have the lasting strength of The Exceptional Man. It’s ok to be nice, the world needs more nice people, but don’t pretend to be something you’re not just to get that date – that’s just being a douche. (See this post for more tips on how not to be douchy).
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This week, my reader, I encourage you to be exceptional. Be confident, treat people well, deal with difficult things head on, and love deeply.
Oh, and guys, a little tip for you that I tell The Best Husband Ever: I always know exactly what I want. It just always changes.
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