I’ve been married for 14 years. In 2002 my husband and I married in Maui on the beach, and this year we took our 2 youngest sons back to that beach. It was every bit as beautiful and romantic as I remember. Later that night, as we sat on the lanai sipping wine, my husband looked over at me and said, “You should write about new love and old love. You know, how things are when you’re first in love and how it changes over the years.”
That’s a great idea, and so today’s blog post was born. New love is great and passionate, but old love is great and passionate too. So what’s the difference?
New love: New love is intense, fiery, and physical. That spark of discovering each other (and each other’s bodies) lights up and fuels our nights. In our younger years our bodies are smoother, sleeker, harder, and more shapely than they are in our 50’s and up. But that’s not to say that we can’t experience the passion and intensity of new love later in our years. Regardless of age we’re surprised by new lovers because so much about them is still unknown, everything is exciting and a new discovery.
New love can also mean “young love.” As a teenager we don’t have the obligations of being an adult and have more freedom to be focused on “what I want” instead of “what’s best for the family/my children/etc.” While exciting, this freedom can inhibit the softer nature of a deep, lasting bond. A bond that is formed with each tender touch, soft caress, and caring embrace offered without question and without strings.
Old love: Old love is deep, intense, and opaque. The sheerness of being new to each other has weathered a few (or many) storms and has become a dense, complex love that is impenetrable to minor squalls. Old love has a roundness to it that new love does not. It has the strength to last because all our sharp pointy edges have been smoothed, and where we’ve broken our lover has held the glue to put us together again. The mysteries that were so exciting have been filled in and replaced with familiarity and (sometimes) contempt. And when things go wrong, they will go wrong, old love has enough devotion banked to cover when our lover (or we) fall short.
This week I was thinking how grateful I am to have a husband who knows how I like my coffee, that I like to sleep in, and holds my hand when we walk (anywhere) on the beach.
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My husband is retired and just recently we’ve discovered that he has a talent for drawing nudes. It’s something he enjoys, and yours truly is his favorite model – curves and all. We’ve decided that he’s going to start drawing nudes, and I’m going to write a short story around them. They may sell, they may not, but I love this “something new” I can do with my old love to make us new and brighter again.
How about you? What excitement do you bring to your relationship? Are you complacent or do you try every day to pursue and delight your love? My wish for you this week is that you’re passionate about love – regardless of what stage you’re in. Love is an adventure.
My words are my thoughts, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). Feel free to follow me on Pinterest (Melissa Gale) or Facebook. I love feedback, and invite you to comment or e-mail me with your thoughts. Signing up to follow me is the best way to make sure you don’t miss a post!