Lessons From My Father

 

LessonsI’m a lucky girl.  I have a great dad.  He’s quiet, sometimes a little gruff, but you’ll never meet anyone more loyal and committed to his family. I’ve been married twice (still married to the 2nd), and both times I was lucky enough to marry men who are great dads. My first husband and I have a daughter and despite our differences I’ve always had his support, and he mine, when it came to her. My husband and I have 2 boys, and with this last weekend being Father’s Day I thought about the “dads” in my life.  My dad, the fathers of my children, my children who are fathers, and the fathers my children will one day be.  I thought it fitting that today’s post be about them, and some things I’ve learned from my dad that I want to teach my children.

1.  Sometimes things have always been done a certain way for a reason. Whether it’s how to clean a handgun, how to clean a fish, or how to fix an engine, sometimes things have always been done a certain way because that’s the way they should be done. It just works.  You don’t need to go messing with something that’s working just fine.  In the words of my dad, “Lissa. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

2.  Sometimes things have always been done a certain way and it’s time for them to change. My dad is the most solid, predictable, calm man I’ve ever known. Even in chaos he is strong and unwavering. And, like most people, he likes things to stay the same. During his employment with the State Patrol as a Trooper he went back to school (my dad?!?!?!) and became an Accident Reconstructionist for the State Patrol as well. I would have never, ever, ever, (did I say ever?) thought my dad would do something like that, but because he did I learned to expect change – and change is ok.

3.  I can do this. It doesn’t matter what “this” is, my dad believes I can do it. He believed I could hike for hours on our property (heavily wooded with timber rattlers, wild dogs, coyotes, deer, elk, and the occasional bear or cougar) with only the dog and be fine – and I was. He believed I could be a black belt in Taekwon Do – and I am (also a brown in Brazilian jiu-jitsu… but that’s another story.). He believes in me and that belief has given me the courage to try, and accomplish, some pretty cool stuff.

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4.  Things will work out. It’s as simple as those four little words. As crappy as things may get, and as hurt as you are – things will work out.  He’s right. They always have, and now I’m trying to share that belief with my children.

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There’s so much I could write and draw lessons from: dancing on my dad’s feet learning to waltz and foxtrot, how he used to dance around the house with my mother, his love of Sha Na Na and how he’d sing “Froggy Went a Courtin” to my mom on Saturdays while we cleaned the house… but today I thought I’d just stick to 5 things.  And besides, I’m sure when my dad reads this he’ll probably shake his head and wonder how-in-the-hell I got those lessons out of his actions – but I did. My dad is the first man I ever loved.

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Dads are powerful, influential, and instrumental in a child’s life.  The things you say and, more importantly, the things you do will shape your child in ways that you can’t anticipate or even imagine.

My words are my thoughts, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale) or Twitter (@write2unpack). Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!

 

Recharge Yourself

Recharge 1Summer is here. My kids are out of school and home during the day, the Best Husband Ever is retired and home during the day, but my work doesn’t stop with the change in seasons and has been steadily ramping up.  The level of “crazy” in the world has been increasing, and with my husband’s ability to walk decreasing (the heat drastically affects his MS symptoms), that means there’s more around the house that needs my attention.  This summer I’ve decided to streamline my life a bit so I’m more present at home to “take care of things” and recharge myself. And so today’s blog post came to me: Why do we need to recharge? How do we recharge? Let’s talk about it.

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Why do we need to recharge? Why can’t we just keep going and do everything that needs doing?  Well, quite simply, because we can’t. Human beings are not wired with an endless power source that allows us to keep going like the Energizer bunny. The constant stressors of our daily lives, our jobs, our loved ones, our homes, even the “obligation” to do something we love, all take a toll on our health.  The effects of stress on a body are well documented and if we take some time to recharge ourselves we can stave off heart attacks, memory loss, and even depression.  We constantly give of ourselves and, sometimes, we need to recharge ourselves so that we can continue to give.

How do we recharge? Well, I suppose that’s different for everyone. There are tons of ways suggested on the internet ranging from aromatherapy to stretching. Some people (like me) need to be in nature, to sit and breathe and sort through the feelings of failure and insecurity, and figure out my next steps – my path forward.  Some people recharge by exercising, by training for a certain goal such as running a Marathon or completing an Ironman. It doesn’t matter what you do – do whatever works for you – what matters is that you do it.Recharge 9

So how do you do it? How do you find the time? Here are some ways that have worked for me:

1.   Remind yourself you’re worth it. Let me tell you a secret… shhhhh… <You are worth it.> Let go of the guilt of not getting enough done, and embrace knowing that you’ll come back better and able to give more if you just remind yourself you’re worthy of the love you give to everyone else.

2.  Plan your recharge. Plan every day to take 10 minutes (everyone has 10 minutes) to sit quietly and meditate.  Allow the busy thoughts in your head to pass through, they’re not allowed to stay, and listen for the stillness. Plan to be “unplugged” for an entire day, plan a weekend away, a camping trip, or whatever works for you. Just make plans to do it and then keep them.
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3.  Streamline. Take something that you do many times and see if you can combine it into one or at least fewer times. Need a for example? Instead of shopping many times per week for groceries plan your meals and shop once for the week.

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I am a social person but I need alone time. I spend time alone each week writing to you. I get to talk about whatever’s on my mind, to verbally vomit onto the page (or computer) and sort through the words until they make sense, and I post it to you.  It’s my hope that what I end up with resonates with you, that it inspires you to be more loving, but it helps me to recharge myself a bit – to quiet the noises and the chaos.

By recharging ourselves we can make our lives better, and by simple proximity make the lives of those around us better, which creates more good in the world.  So the next time you hear that voice that says you’re not being productive, that there’s so much to do and it’s not getting done, remind yourself that you’re actually doing everyone a favor and making the world a better place.

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My words are my thoughts, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale) or Twitter (@write2unpack). Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!

Life Lessons From a Labrador

 

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Belle and Jack-Jack

“I wish people were more like dogs.” I blurted out.

The Best Husband Ever and I were sitting on our deck after work, and those words just popped out of my mouth. I have a German Shepherd and a Labrador, black lab specifically, and both dogs were circling around us like a couple of sharks. The Labrador would drop the ball on my feet, look up at me expectantly, and then seize the ball before the Shepherd could get it so she could toss it at my feet again.  Dogs are great communicators without ever saying a word. That got me to thinking: what else could we learn from a Labrador? And presto! Inspiration for today’s blog post found me.

Labrador Lesson #1: Belong to a pack. Dogs are pack animals. Humans are not wired to be alone either.  There are tons of articles written about the importance of finding your “tribe” and how good it is for you emotionally, mentally, and physically.  We all need to be understood, supported, and inspired. So get out there and seek out those who are like you, the ones that inspire and lift you up. Surround yourself with those who love and don’t judge and see what a difference it makes in your life.

 

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Labrador Lesson #2: Be playful.  Anyone who’s ever had, seen, or been next to a Labrador knows how much they love to play. This is an important lesson for us as well. When we’re children we love to play and do everything possible to delay “work” so we can play for just one more minute.  Studies show that play time is crucial to developing imagination, creativity, physical and mental health. We talked about the importance of laughter and playfulness in this blog, and I encourage you to take a page from the Labrador book and endulge in something playful. It’s good for you.

Labrador Lesson #3: Have a bedtime.  Sleep is important. Not enough sleep negatively impacts our health, our weight, our sex drive, our mental focus, our emotional well-being… literally everything.  Belle sleeps with my boys. Their bedtime is 8:00. Belle knows that 8:00 is bedtime, and she knows when it’s 8:00. She’ll walk toward their bedroom, look back over her shoulder at me, look back at their room, then back at me as if to say, “Um, hey, it’s bedtime. Why aren’t we going to bed?” Belle knows the importance of sleep, and we should too.

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She’s slightly displeased with me for interrupting her beauty-sleep…


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Labrador Lesson #4: Startle easily. Belle is super attentive, a little dim sometimes, but she’s always so focused on what’s directly in front of her (especially if it resembles food) that she’ll startle at the smallest thing.  Although her startle reflex is a little excessive, we could all learn to be a little more present in our lives. We spend so much time on our smart phones and tablets that we’re completely wrapped up in our own world and aren’t paying attention to the one that’s all around us. Look at what’s going on around you, who’s around you, and be aware of what’s happening right now.

Labrador Lesson #5: Love everyone. Labs are known for their friendly nature, and Belle is no exception. If you come over to my house you will have Labrador fur on you – just accept it. She will burrow between your legs expecting you to scratch her on her butt and will bring you every toy she has until you pick one up and play with her.  She accepts everyone regardless of race, religious beliefs, political affiliation, gender or disability. We should learn from her and be more loving towards each other. Judge others less harshly and accept that they’re different – and that’s ok.

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There are a ton of other lessons the Labrador could teach us, like how everything with water must have a Labrador in it… be enthusiastic about your food… but I’ll save those for another time. This week I’m going to me more mindful of Belle’s Labrador Lessons, and encourage you to do the same. Accept those who are different and have different beliefs, pay attention to the world around you, quit taking yourself so seriously and make time to be lighthearted and playful.  Oh, and never doubt the accuracy of the Labrador Wristwatch.

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My words are my thoughts, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale) or Twitter (@write2unpack). Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!