I’m a lucky girl. I have a great dad. He’s quiet, sometimes a little gruff, but you’ll never meet anyone more loyal and committed to his family. I’ve been married twice (still married to the 2nd), and both times I was lucky enough to marry men who are great dads. My first husband and I have a daughter and despite our differences I’ve always had his support, and he mine, when it came to her. My husband and I have 2 boys, and with this last weekend being Father’s Day I thought about the “dads” in my life. My dad, the fathers of my children, my children who are fathers, and the fathers my children will one day be. I thought it fitting that today’s post be about them, and some things I’ve learned from my dad that I want to teach my children.
1. Sometimes things have always been done a certain way for a reason. Whether it’s how to clean a handgun, how to clean a fish, or how to fix an engine, sometimes things have always been done a certain way because that’s the way they should be done. It just works. You don’t need to go messing with something that’s working just fine. In the words of my dad, “Lissa. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
2. Sometimes things have always been done a certain way and it’s time for them to change. My dad is the most solid, predictable, calm man I’ve ever known. Even in chaos he is strong and unwavering. And, like most people, he likes things to stay the same. During his employment with the State Patrol as a Trooper he went back to school (my dad?!?!?!) and became an Accident Reconstructionist for the State Patrol as well. I would have never, ever, ever, (did I say ever?) thought my dad would do something like that, but because he did I learned to expect change – and change is ok.
3. I can do this. It doesn’t matter what “this” is, my dad believes I can do it. He believed I could hike for hours on our property (heavily wooded with timber rattlers, wild dogs, coyotes, deer, elk, and the occasional bear or cougar) with only the dog and be fine – and I was. He believed I could be a black belt in Taekwon Do – and I am (also a brown in Brazilian jiu-jitsu… but that’s another story.). He believes in me and that belief has given me the courage to try, and accomplish, some pretty cool stuff.
4. Things will work out. It’s as simple as those four little words. As crappy as things may get, and as hurt as you are – things will work out. He’s right. They always have, and now I’m trying to share that belief with my children.
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There’s so much I could write and draw lessons from: dancing on my dad’s feet learning to waltz and foxtrot, how he used to dance around the house with my mother, his love of Sha Na Na and how he’d sing “Froggy Went a Courtin” to my mom on Saturdays while we cleaned the house… but today I thought I’d just stick to 5 things. And besides, I’m sure when my dad reads this he’ll probably shake his head and wonder how-in-the-hell I got those lessons out of his actions – but I did. My dad is the first man I ever loved.
Dads are powerful, influential, and instrumental in a child’s life. The things you say and, more importantly, the things you do will shape your child in ways that you can’t anticipate or even imagine.
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