Write2Unpack

Last week we talked about the lost art of writing love letters, and with the world being consumed by anger and hatred it’s more important than ever to tell our loved ones that we love them. That’s why this week we’re going to talk about how to write love letters.

1.  Love letters are timeless. Telling your loved one isn’t a thing of the past. People want to know how loved they are. Showing them through actions is how some people express love, but telling them that you love them – why you love them, is something they can hang on to and go back and re-read when they need it and you’re not there to show them. Bottom line: People want to know how loved and appreciate they are.

Love letter from Johnny Cash to June Carter Cash

2.  Don’t worry about making it sound like a “love letter.” Don’t try to sound like anyone else. Your loved one loves you, so just write like you normally write. Be open, be honest. Love letters should expose you, your feelings, and make you vulnerable.

3.  Don’t worry about length. If you’re not a wordy person don’t worry about trying to create a 50 page dissertation on “The Glories of <Name>.” Write what you want to say, what you feel, and then stop. Whether it’s 10 pages, single spaced, front and back – or 3 lines. What’s important is that you do it.

4.  The little things are the big things. Small details make love letters super personal and intimate and will make your loved one feel like you see and know them, and they’ll love you for it. One of my favorite love letters from The Best Husband Ever is a card he gave me out of the blue, and sounds just like something he’d say. It’s not lyrically beautiful, or filled with prose and reasons why he loves me, but it’s so much him that I love it.

My husband’s idea of a love letter.

5.  Don’t get hung up on how it looks. Love letters don’t have to be on fancy paper or be written in a beautifully scripted hand. Little drawings or notes on scraps of paper are great for love letters.
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There are a ton of on-line resources for writing prompts, “open when” letters, and books on how to write love letters.  Samara O’Shea has written a great book called, For The Love Of Letters, you can find it here on Amazon. She talks about how to write love letters, break up letters, apology letters. One of the things she suggests on writing love letters is to follow a past/present/future format:

Past: Write about when you first met, the moment you fell in love, or a certain time when your love was deepened.

Present: Write about the little things you like about them that you see every day.  Maybe you love the way they brush their hand across your back every time you pass, or their sleepy eyes.  My husband loves my morning hair – he calls it my “Rock Star Hair.” He loves it and I love him for always smiling (but not laughing) at me when I first get up in the morning.

Future: Write about what you’re looking forward to and things that you want to accomplish together. Are you planning a trip? Are you looking for your first house? This will let your loved one know that you’re here and in it for the long haul.

So this week, my reader, I ask that instead of posting something that will polarize and only spread anger, share love.  Write a love letter. Write a note to a trusted friend, send a card to someone far away telling them you’re thinking of them, or write a letter to your lover telling them how much you love and appreciate them. It’s not important how you do it, the important thing is that you do it.

My words are my thoughts, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale) or Twitter (@write2unpack). Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!

My friend Keesha is a lover. She loves her boyfriend, she loves her family and her kids (biological and the ones she works with), and she loves her friends.  Once she loves you she doesn’t give just part of herself. If you are Keesha’s friend then you have all of her.  So, of course, it made sense for someone so full of love to say, “You should write a blog on the lost art of writing love letters!”  Great idea, and so this week’s inspiration came to me in the form of a lovely friend and the gift of a book written in 1892.

In today’s world of technology and social media (texting, twitter, facebook, tumblr – I could go on…), we’ve lost the desire to actually put pen to paper and communicate with others.  Think about it, when was the last time you actually wrote a letter and put a stamp on an envelope? Let’s talk about “why” we should write (love) letters…

1. Letters are more personal than e-mails or text messages, simply because they’re handwritten. When you actually write a letter it’s in your handwriting – no one else has your handwriting, but everyone with a computer has Times New Roman, Book Antiqua (my fav), and Lucinda Handwriting.

2.  Letters can be kept and re-read. Whether it’s a love letter to your long-distance boyfriend, or words of encouragement to a friend. A handwritten letter can be kept in a box, a drawer, or even a purse and re-read at any time. It’s a piece of you they can hold on to, and remind them you care when you’re not able to be with them.

3.  Letters cannot be debated. During text exchanges, or even face-to-face conversations, often one person is simply waiting for the other to finish so they can begin speaking.  Letters force us to slow down, to think through our thoughts, and reason with ourselves before shooting off a response so we can be “right” first.

4.  Letters force you to speak slowly. With all the technology we have immediately available we’ve grown accustomed to sending off quick messages and expecting an instant response. When you write a letter you give someone the gift of your time, speaking slowly and thoughtfully responding to a situation they’re working through, and you give them the gift of time to respond without the stress of immediate response.

5.  Letters can ease pain and build relationships. A handwritten apology over a mistake or a misunderstanding can soften someone’s anger, and a handwritten note over a loss someone is feeling can give them the little bit of strength they need to get through.  A love note to a distant lover can strengthen the relationship – reminding them that you’re there, you care, and you’re thinking of them.
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Love letters can be written to your boyfriend/spouse/friend. It’s inexpensive to buy a card, write a quick note in there, drop a stamp on it and send it to your friend.  I received a card in the mail the other day from a friend.  It wasn’t anything other than a “hey, I’m glad we’re friends” kind of note, but it reached me at just the right time and meant the world. Sending a love letter to your spouse reminds them you still love them, they still delight you, you think of them often and fondly, and can deepen and intensify your relationship. Or, in the case of Meghan Trainor, you can write a Dear Future Husband letter and lay out your list of wants and needs. (Guys, tell me how great it would be to have this list from your future wife!)

Love letters can be written to your kids.  Last year during the school year I wrote notes to my boys every morning as I was getting ready for work.  I leave my house at about 5:40 a.m. every morning (waaaaaaaaay before they get up), and wrote notes to them wishing them a good day, reminding them to choose positive attitudes, and encouraging them or praising them for a school project – and always to tell them I loved them before they head out to school. I didn’t realize at first how much they loved my little notes until I forgot one day.  The second I walked in the door I was approached with, “Mom, you forgot to write us a note today.”  I didn’t appreciate how impactful that handwritten bit of my time was, and how much love and encouragement it offered. I do now.

Love letters can be written to the dead.  There’s a Young Adult novel written by Ava Dellaria, called Love Letters to the Dead. (Check it out here.) It’s about a class assignment to write a letter to a dead person. The main character chose to write to Kurt Cobain because her sister loved him and he died young – like her sister.  What a great way to process grief. We’ve all suffered loss: a close family member, a friend, a loved one. My grandpa passed 20 years ago this October. I still miss him and think of him all the time. It’s his voice I hear when I need advice about any particular situation. I wonder what words would come out if I wrote him a letter today? My friend Steve passed 4 years ago this August.  I think he knows, but I should write him a letter telling him how much our conversations about “nothing” meant to me.

So this week, my reader, I challenge you to write one letter a week for the next month.  Buy a card, pick up some stationary and stamps, put pen to paper and send a letter.  It’s easy, remember having a pen-pal when you were in Elementary School? Just talk about your day, or a funny story you remember, or surprise your lover with a sexy note.  Let’s bring back the art of writing letters!

My words are my thoughts, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale) or Twitter (@write2unpack). Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!

This week’s blog is a guest post from a friend of mine, author Lucy H. Delaney.  I first met Lucy when I was donating blood.  My friend, Sandra, and I compete to see who is the better bleeder (I am), and this as well as our witty banter charmed her so much she wrote this blog about us.  Since then Lucy has authored 4 books and is certainly working on more.

When I first approached her about writing a blog post I had visions of posting her picture and links to all of her fabulous books.  Well, as sometimes happens, life has pivoted and the publishing house that published Lucy has gone under and she’s still working on getting her book rights back.  What that means in layman terms is I can post pictures of her mug but I can’t link to any of her books on my site… yet.

So, next best thing? Here’s a link to her blog and a guest post from a lady as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.

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“If I Close My Eyes And Listen”

If I close my eyes and listen… really listen, what do I hear?

Today, Chopin and Brian Crain’s rendition of “Hallelujah” and Fur Elise, Clair De Lune and… water.

I hear water… in my ears and in my soul. It’s a rainy day. It won’t rain for long, just long enough to wet the soil and refresh a restless soul. Days like this beckon the busy to rest, relax, breathe in reprieve… and blow out the electric buzzing of a million things that must be, should be, ought to be done.

But no, not today. Today I shall be still, quiet and calm, which is something quite foreign to my hurried nature, but necessary and nurturing every time I do it.

As the water rolls from the roof-top…

down,

down,

down… to settle into a puddle of brother droplets in rapturous ripples, I scroll and click.

The water rolls and drips and I scroll and click… through hundreds of pictures, memories, moments stolen from forever and captured on a phone that is running out of space to hold much more.

I suppose I am a compulsive picture taker. Somehow freezing a moment in time helps me feel more connected to humanity. Someday, sometime, decades, maybe centuries from now, years after I am long dead, perhaps… perchance, these digital snapshots will give the future of mankind a glimpse into the simple individual life of she who was from the past. Like fragmented potsherds in an ancient dig site, I fancy these humble moments could be dusted off, refined with futuristic enhancements still unknown, and archeologists and their protégés will speculate on the life of a layman of this era based off these photos that were left to find.

What can I say? I am a creative, idealistic soul, nothing, not even a picture taken of me, my family, my friends or my world, is just for a singular, selfish purpose. And yet, in a singularly selfish, self-centered way, each photo is nothing more than narcissism… proof that I exist. Evidence that I am someone. I matter, even, if only to myself. I am here. I am alive. I live!

And what a life it is that I live! Drip… click… ripple… scroll…

Drip…

Click… a selfie, and my tongue is out… hmmm, I ought to delete that, and be more mindful in the future of both selfies and my tongue’s penchant to make an appearance in my pictures.

Ripple…

Scroll…

Drip…

Click… a night out with my ladies and gents. These people who once were strangers, now friends, their smiling faces and recollections of our good-natured antics bless me, and I smile back at their digital reflections.
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Ripple…

Scroll…

Drip…

Click… A hike with my youngest son and fellow gym mates, to work out and watch the sunrise over Saddle Rock. Sweet, savory, sweaty fellowship with God and man.

Ripple…

Scroll…

Delete… because neither myself, my Facebook feed or the future of humanity needs to see the meal I was so proud of making from scratch a month ago… or do they?

Nah…

Drip…

Click… a photo of my grand-daughter, a precious mix of her mother and dad; a gift of a child I somehow helped create even though I adopted her mama. Were it not for my infiltration into her mother’s life, this precious babe wouldn’t be here today. Like Tim McGraw’s country song, I let myself feel the pride of being a grandma and am humbled that I have them in my life. I say a prayer for my girls… all of them.

Ripple… how strange our lives are, rippling out, away from ourselves, puddling, muddling into the essence of others.

Scroll… A series of photos from a mini-vacation with my eldest son where we rushed to find as many waterfalls as we could and capture them into digital treasure boxes we could open and share later.

Drip… they’re slower now, the clouds are moving away, almost time ‘to do’ again and not just ‘be.’

Click… my friends, my family, my world, these souls and places I have opportunity to experience and embrace.

Ripple… I am grateful.

Scroll… What a good, full, blessed life the Lord has given me.

If I close my eyes and listen… really listen, I hear the heartbeat of countless souls that drip and drop and dance their way into my simple, layman’s life … this precious, priceless puddle of humanity I claim for myself and for posterity!

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When I first approached Lucy about writing a guest post she asked what I wanted her to write about. My answer? “… that sparkly bit that finds you in the midst of the chaos of daily life.” So now I ask you, my reader: when you close your eyes and listen – really listen, what do you hear?

My words are my thoughts, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale) or Twitter (@write2unpack). Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!