Happiness v. Jealousy

 

Jealousy 5This week I was going to write about paving the road to Hell (good intentions), but inspiration for a different post found me last night.  So, Hell will have to wait for at least another week.

Last night I watched the season finale of “Preacher” (Yes, I’m one of those people).  For those of you who haven’t seen the show: it’s about a man, (Jesse Custer) whose father was a preacher, and as he grew he fell a little far from that tree – but eventually became a preacher himself.  Well, in his far-from-the-tree days he and his lifetime friend/girlfriend (Tulip) were robbing a bank. Their partner (Carlos) heard them laughing and being playful so he sabotaged their heist and double-crossed them. Years later, when Jesse Custer was a preacher, they found him and asked him (not so nicely) why he did what he did. His answer? “You were happy.”

That’s what I’d like to talk about today. Why it is that people hate it when other people are happy. The answer I came up with… Jealousy.

The world doesn’t need more hate, or more jealousy, so let’s look at reasons we should be happy for others who are happy – even if we aren’t happy ourselves.

1.  When you’re happy for someone else you allow their happiness to inspire you and ignite hope that you, too, will be happy soon.

2. When you’re happy for someone else you deepen your relationship. Real relationships are filled with ups and downs. People will respond more positively to your ups if they’ve also shared in your downs, and vice versa.  It’s easier share in someone’s happiness if you’ve shared in their struggle.

3. When you’re happy for others you literally multiply the times you can celebrate and be happy. I don’t know about you, but I love being happy and celebrating.  I’d much rather do that than be sad, and when we’re happy for someone else it also allows them the opportunity to be happy for you too.

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There are many people who are viagra no rx appalachianmagazine.com facing many health problems. You can consume this herbal pill without appalachianmagazine.com sildenafil purchase any fear of side effects. This is an important detail you should discuss with your partner if you cialis purchase online will be sharing the mattress on a regular basis. Increase Sexual Vigour & Stamina The medicine not only stopped the attacks faster than the Claritin I had been taking previously, but tadalafil soft tabs it also prevented subsequent allergy attacks. Ok, so now you know why we should be happy for others, so let’s talk about how you can be happy for others.  Here’s 5 ways:

1. Don’t hate – celebrate. Look for opportunities to be happy for others and to say something positive.

2. Be grateful. Every morning they write down 3 things you have that you’re grateful for. Today I’m grateful for the sunshine and being able to write outside, for being able to spend time with my kids and husband, and last (but not least) for the opportunity to kick my friend Sandra’s butt at donating blood later tonight.

Jealousy 23. Don’t compare yourself to others. My mother always told me, “Lissa, there’s always someone better off than you, and there’s always someone worse off than you.”  My mom knows a lot. Instead of fixating on what others have, focus on the positives – whether it’s you or someone else.

4. Your value doesn’t depend on other people. We want other people to want what we have, but seeking approval from other people is self-destructive. Author Josh Gressel wrote a book called Embracing Envy: Finding the Spiritual Treasure in Our Most Shameful Emotion (You can find it on Amazon here). He writes, “To be seeking the envy of another is to be trapped in the same cycle that fuels any addiction: reaching for something outside yourself for something that ultimately needs to come from within.”

5. Be aware of your jealousy. This week I saw a YouTube video by comedian Chelsea Handler for Elle (Here’s a link) She talked about an event in her 20’s, when she convinced a friend to join her at a stand-up showcase for an agency. Her friend got representation and she didn’t. She felt like it wasn’t fair – she was the one who convinced her friend to do stand up in the first place. Chelsea hated the way she felt – like it was a mistake. She went to her sister for advice and was told, “It’s ok to feel jealous. It’s how you feel, you can’t stop from feeling it.” Her sister then told her, “Tell one person, nobody else, and don’t act on it.” Sage advice, and I love Chelsea’s statement about her feelings of jealousy, “I never blow out someone else’s candle to make mine brighter.”

This week, my reader, I challenge you to be happy for others.  Feel gratitude for the things you have, share in others’ successes, and, like Chelsea Handler, don’t blow out someone else’s candle to make yours brighter.

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My thoughts are my own, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale), Instagram (write2unpack), or Twitter (@write2unpack). Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!

Colchuck Lake Lessons

IMG_1297Colchuck Lake is an amazing lake near the top of the Enchantments in Leavenworth, WA.  My boss, the uber-athlete, promised to take me and my co-worker/friend, Lindsay, on a day-hike to Colchuck Lake. He’s been up and over Asgard Pass and through-hiked the Enchantments several times, and Lindsay and I have seen amazing photos and heard incredible stories of his adventures, but today he made good on his promise and took us to Colchuck Lake.

Like the true Sherpa he is, he packed our water (with a fizzy tablet of some sort of electrolyte in it), his water, and all snacks.  All we had to do was to get our bodies up there. It took 2+ hours to get there. We hiked on a trail (sometimes), over tree roots that acted like steps, up granite “staircases,” and sometimes the trail was just to “follow the dirt on the rocks.” Once we arrived, the sight took my breath away. There’s no way to explain the intense beauty, and pictures barely capture the magnificence of the lake.  If you ever have the opportunity to go, take it. You’ll remember it for the rest of your life.

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Gratuitous selfie.

After a quick rest, a snack, some water, and several gratuitous selfies we headed back down the trail. As I followed my Sherpa down the trail, watching as he picked his way around bigger rocks or tricky tree roots, my mind started wondering about this week’s blog and how I can present this amazing experience to you, my reader. While I’m sure there’s more, I offer the following 5 lessons I learned while hiking Colchuck:

1. Use more mosquito repellant. Yes, this one’s first for a reason. I sprayed the heck out of myself before setting out and the little buggers were still all over me the second I stopped or slowed down.  Sometimes they even bit through my pants! My poor friend is extra delicious and one time I looked back she had a whole swarm of them around her.  Although a good lesson to apply to hiking Colchuck, it’s also a good life lesson.  Sometimes when we’re on our journey we’re surrounded by little bitey things that try to distract us from what we’ve set out to do, or from noticing the beauty around us.  Think of how pleasant your life will be if you do your best to repel those things that don’t serve you, and only act as a nuisance or distraction from your journey.

2. Remember to watch where you step and not get too distracted by looking around.  Colchuck Lake is 4 miles up and in the Wenatchee National Forrest. Parts of the trail are heavily forested and the Icicle River tributaries flow all around you.  The natural beauty is spectacular! But, I’d strongly encourage anyone on that trail to diligently watch their footing. There are roots and rocks everywhere. On your life’s journey, I’d also encourage you to watch your path for potential pitfalls.  There are things to trip, to catch your toe around every turn. Pay attention and watch your footing.

 

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3. Sometimes it’s better if you look up from the path you’re currently on. There’s a part of the trail (several parts actually) where you’re climbing up a granite “staircase.”  In one section I realized that I had been so focused on what step was in front of me, that I didn’t notice a much easier path beside me.  Sometimes in life we get so focused on what’s next, our next step on this path we’ve set out on, that we don’t notice that there’s another (perhaps easier) way to get to the same place.

4. The journey’s better with a buddy. It was a magnificent hike – hands down, but for me having my trusted friends around me, supporting me, made all the difference in the world.  Life is like that too.  Surround yourself with those who love and support you and just watch the magic that unfolds.

5. I can do this!  When we first started talking about hiking Colchuck (8 miles out and back, rated “difficult” on alltrails.com), I wasn’t sure I could do it. My exercise regime has consisted of walking a couple times per week, yoga, and getting up to get my own drink on weekends. But I did it! We went slow and steady, stopped occasionally to catch our breath, and presto! I conquered that mountain.  Ok, well, partially conquered it anyway.  Next year we’ve vowed to either through-hike the Enchantments, or at least go up to Asgard Pass and into the lakes of the Enchantments. If this girl can make it up that mountain, without really training, on a quest of comradery and natural wonder, what can’t I do?

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That’s where we’re going next year. Asgard Pass is on the left. (That’s Dragontail Peak on the right).

Sometimes it takes a day hike up a root and granite filled trail, into somewhere surrealy spectacular (that’s right – I’m a writer, I can make up words…) to remind us that we really can do it – whatever “it” is. Our bodies are stronger than we give them credit for, our strength of commitment is remarkable, and our love for each other is boundless.

This week I invite you to take the Colchuck Lessons to heart: Repel that which does not serve you, watch your footing, look up, find a buddy to be with, and yes – you can do it!

If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale) or Twitter (@write2unpack). Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!

5 Ways Dancing Will Improve Your Love Life

Dance 10Yesterday was one of those warm, grey, drizzly, summer days, and it got me thinking about slow dancing, rainy days, soft blankets and fireplaces. I have recently applied to an on-line content mill site (translation: freelance writer seeking work) and one of the pieces I was required to submit was, “Ways Riding A Bike Can Improve Your Dancing.”  With my recent blog submission and yesterday’s cozy musings, inspiration for today’s blog post found me – how dancing can improve your love life.

Whether you’re dancing by yourself, with friends, or with a possible or real-time lover, let’s talk about how it can improve your romantic relationships.

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Rhythm: Ok, this is the obvious one. Bodies pressed together, moving together in time to the music, allows your body to learn to move in time to your lover without consciously thinking about it.  When you dance with someone you learn how they move, and by learning how they move to music, you learn how they move in the bedroom. Learning how your lover moves so you can anticipate what they’re going to do can only serve to improve your love life.

Confidence: A lover who’s sure of himself, who is confident enough to dance in public, or be silly and fun, likely means they’re confident enough to allow themselves to be adventurous and playful in the bedroom.Dance 7

 

Control:  I actually thought about including this one in “confidence,” but then I thought it deserved its own bullet point.  A man who is in control of himself and his body, who is sure of himself and chooses his next steps, is sexy. A man who respectfully controls, or directs, or leads his dance partner is incredibly sexy. Being able to control yourself and your movements, and being able to lead your partner (on the floor or in the bedroom) will definitely improve your love life.

What can we call Impotence? Not only the complete viagra levitra lack of drive and fantasies. If you think condominium units are only for striving brand cialis professionals and independent bachelors, think again. This should not be difficult to understand by people. buying viagra in usa Then, when I moved to Colorado, generic line viagra I discovered rebounding. Stamina: Dancing builds strength and stamina. In my (hopefully) soon-to-be-published story, The Between, I write about how, instead of taking Alex out for the night, Joshua choose to treat her to “an exceptional night in.” Dancing isn’t just great exercise for those who want to get in shape or stay in shape, but also great for building up stamina for those exceptional nights in.

Social: This may be last, but it’s certainly not least. You won’t meet and get to know (really know) anyone at home on your couch. Oh sure, there’s on-line dating and lots of people have had success meeting a lover on an internet dating site, but think about it – you meet on-line and then go out in person.  Dancing is a great way to be social and be out with friends. It’s also a safe way to get to know a person – you’re out with lots of other people in a public place.  Besides, in today’s world of on-line shopping, texting, social media, and downloadable movies, we need to get out and interact with the world that’s actually around us – and dancing is a great way to do that.

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Studies have shown that people who dance have a higher self-esteem, are more accepting of others, and have a more positive outlook on life.  This week, my readers, I encourage you to dance. Dance by yourself in the kitchen while you’re waiting for dinner to be ready, dance with your children to a silly song, or slow dance with your lover on a rainy day in front of the fireplace.  It doesn’t matter how you dance, just dance!

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My words are my thoughts, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale) or Twitter (@write2unpack). Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!