Pearl Harbor Day and the day my grandfather, a gunner in the Navy, fought the Japanese at Pearl Harbor. That day, this day 75 years ago, kept my grandfather from ever taking my grandmother to Hawaii. “Lissa, I’ve seen too much of that island.” He once told me. I think that’s the only thing he ever told me about being in the war. I love him and miss him and grandma every day. Hat-tip to you grandpa. Thank you for your service and for loving us fiercely.
With that nod to a great man, let’s journey on to this week’s post. I’ve been thinking about the ending of this year, circling into the beginning of the next: resolutions, accountability, and, of course, beginnings – new beginnings specifically. And what’s more fun to talk about than the new beginning and awkwardness of when you first meet someone and you (or they) try out their best pick up line?
You just said it, didn’t you? You either said the worst pick up line you’ve ever heard or went, “Ugh.” What is it about pick-up lines? Why do people use the cheesiest lines known to man? To break the ice? To show off their wit? Let’s explore the importance of a first impression.
- “If God didn’t want us to judge a book by its cover he wouldn’t have put them on.” Even before the words come out of your mouth, you’re making an impression. First impressions are what many people judge us by and decide whether or not we’re worthy of their time and conversation. Personal appearance is tantamount. You can’t control your physical features, but you do choose your clothing style, grooming, hygiene, etc. The general rule is, “If it’s not helping, it’s hurting.”
- “You only get one chance to make a first impression.” Yeah, it’s cliché, but it’s true. There are no do-overs, no reset button, you get one shot – that’s it. Make it a good one.
- “Your first instinct is usually correct.” I learned this in school when I was taking tests. It was true then and has served me well over the years as everything from food server to now working as a paralegal. I make snap judgments about people from the instant I meet them, the way they look, the words they say, and their manners.
So what’s a good way to make a first impression? It’s just common sense:
- Firm handshake. Don’t break their hand or give them a wet noodle. Just a nice, firm, confident handshake.
- Eye contact. Make eye contact. Don’t stare them down, but don’t stare at their chest or off to the side somewhere.
- Don’t be a shark and show all your teeth, but smile nicely – genuinely.
Now let’s move on to pick up lines. Let’s assume that you’re out at a bar/restaurant/ whatever. First, the good:
- “Hi. How are you? You look (nice, hot, amazing, etc.) and I had to come over and introduce myself. I’m (your name.)”
- “Can I buy you a drink?”
- “Hi, I’m (your name). Can I join you?”
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Then the bad (ugh):
- “Do you believe in love at first sight? If not, I’ll walk by again.”
- “If you were a Transformer you’d be Optimus Fine.”
- “Do I know you? Because you look a lot like my new girlfriend.”
And the ugly (groan):
- “Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.”
- “I’ve had such an off week, but seeing you just turns me on.”
- “You’re hot, I’m ugly, let’s make average babies.”
There’s a lot to be said about humor, and maybe these lines actually work if you spin them as humor, but generally women don’t warm up to smarmy. As for me, I prefer a more straight forward approach. Be kind, be genuine, and let me decide.
This week, my reader, I challenge you to make a good first impression. Introduce yourself to someone new and be aware of your eye contact, your handshake, smile genuinely, and be mindful of your pick up line. Oh, and send me your favorite pick up line!
My thoughts are my own, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale), Instagram (write2unpack), or Twitter (@write2unpack). If you have any topics you think I should talk about, reach out to me at write2unpack@gmail.com. Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!
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