Lessons in Tolerance

“…Brace yourself for a whole lot of ugly coming at you from a never ending parade of stupid.” Motormouth Maybelle, Hairspray

Tolerance is the lesson I’m receiving this week. My youngest son was sent to the principal’s office for punching another kid in the arm, Inauguration Day is fast approaching, and last but not least, we finished watching “Hairspray” on TV. Let’s take these in order:

1.  My 10 year old was at school and asked to use the bathroom. He was given permission from the teacher and was running across the room when another student pushed his chair out in Ahren’s way intentionally trying to hurt him. Ahren tripped and fell down, then got back up and slugged the offending kid in the arm. Both students got lunchtime detention.

Now, there’s a part of me that is proud that he stood up for himself – I teach them to do that, but also a part of me that cringes because he reacted with violence – I do not teach them that. I suppose it’s a natural response to want to hurt someone who hurt you, I see it all the time in the dissolutions that come through the office, but that’s not what I teach them – there are other ways to deal with someone hurting you. If Ahren had utilized just a smidgen of tolerance he wouldn’t be in lunch detention. I’m not saying he shouldn’t have stood up for himself, just that in those situations there are alternatives to violence.

2.  On January 20, 2017, President Elect Trump will be our 45th President.

(Nerd alert: He’s technically only our 44th President because Grover Cleveland was elected as both our 22nd and 24th President.  He won, lost re-election, and then won again making Donald Trump the 44th person to be elcted, but also the 45th President… Weird, huh?)

Regardless of who you voted for, or if you didn’t vote (you should be informed about both sides and vote), if this election has taught me anything it’s that we need more tolerance in the world.

I’m not saying just accept things you don’t like, you should fight for what you believe in, just that it’s ok if people have different viewpoints. We are a free country, tens of thousands of Americans have died, fought for, and are still fighting for that right – my family members included. Just because someone believes differently than you doesn’t mean you should hate them. Talk to them, try to understand, and if you still disagree… ok, you disagree.

3.  I first saw Hairspray in the late 80’s when Ricki Lake played the part of Tracy Turnblad. She’s a full-figured girl in the 60’s who wants to be on a teen dance show. The movie deals with tolerance issues such as body shaming, social discrimination, interracial issues, and segregation. It’s a corny, funny movie, and I’m glad I watched it with my sons.

While we were watching it The Best Husband Ever whispered to me, “They (our boys) don’t know what they (the actors) are talking about.” He was right, sort of. They learned about segregation in school, but we teach our children that everyone’s different and a person’s worth is not determined by their body shape or skin color. There are plenty of skinny, white jackasses out there.

It generic levitra online helps increase libido and erectile abilities. There are various concerns those cialis 10 mg simply say, sitting is not the relevant style of detoxification. Clinics that offer consultancy for sexual disorders and treatments cheap cialis receive a plethora of such cases. levitra 10 mg buying this He may need to check first if you want to purchase it. Dr. Bill Hettler developed a wellness model that described the six areas of wellness for people (here’s a link that explains it).  Many of those wellness categories match up with tolerance benefits:

Social benefits: Tolerance gives you the power to make choices that will enhance your relationships with friends and family, which in turn will build a better community around you.

Spiritual benefits: Tolerance is mind-opening. When exploring your spirituality and investigating other’s spiritual beliefs it’s best to have an open mind.

Intellectual benefits: Tolerance encourages problem solving, creativity and learning. Being tolerant of others allows us to recognize potential problems and work together to the benefit of everyone.

Emotional benefits: Tolerance allows us to recognize our own feelings and the feelings of others. When we’re tolerant we can express our feelings, allow others to express their feelings, and build trusting and respectful relationships. Being intolerant gives us negative feelings, while practicing tolerance gives us positive feelings.  Think about it, when was the last time you were intolerant – how did you feel? Bad, right?

So, my reader, tolerance is the lesson I’ve been receiving this week and the lesson I want to share with you. Tolerance doesn’t just happen. I challenge you to choose tolerance with your co-workers, friends, families, and even the stranger driving down the road with a political bumper sticker for the candidate you didn’t vote for.

My thoughts are my own, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale), Instagram (write2unpack), or Twitter (@write2unpack). If you have any topics you’d like to talk about, reach out to me at write2unpack@gmail.com. Oh, hey, and if you sign up to follow me you’ll never miss a post!

 

Life In An MS Nutshell

Wow! Here I am on another adventure. I’ve had one blog up and running for almost two years (just finished #92 this morning), and here I am starting another.  In my write2unpack blog I write about things that are sexy, things that are uplifting, and random things like why people look like their dogs.  In this blog I’m going to journal my life with my husband who suffers from Multiple Sclerosis.  I’m hopeful our journey will resonate with others who suffer from MS, their caregivers, and the families who love them.

I’ve reduced my hours in the law firm from 40 hours to 20 hours per week.  Jeff and I discussed it and when the opportunity presented itself – we took it.  Reducing my hours at work was the easy decision, trying to figure out how to live with ½ income has been a little tougher. I asked my boss if I could go ahead and receive full wages but only work part-time and he said no. He’s unreasonable like that.

I reduced my hours to be more present at home.  I have 12 and 10 year old sons at home, and a retired husband with really sucky coordination. He falls down fairly often and I was worried he’d really hurt himself, one of the boys, or be really hurt when they were there and they’d be unable to help him. Now, when I say “really hurt himself” I’m not talking about the three times he’s fallen and cracked his ribs, or the broken toe, I mean REALLY HURT himself.  Hurt to the point of needing immediate medical care and he wouldn’t be able to get it, or my young children would see it and be unable to help.  Bad news for all involved… so I cut my hours.

On the upside I’m home with the boys to help get them off to school, and home to fix them a snack in the afternoon while J rests, and I get to work on my writing more as well as helping J develop his CBD Oil business.

What’s CBD Oil you ask? Glad you did! CBD is short for cannabidiol and is found in hemp, but also is part of the cannabis plant. Yes, that’s right, Marijuana.  CBD is the medicinal part and has many medical benefits.  THC is the part that gets you high.  While I live in Washington state, and marijuana is legal medicinally and recreationally, CBD oil is NOT illegal in any of the states (disclaimer: that I am presently aware of).  Here’s a link to some quick information about CBD.

J and I stumbled on CBD oil quite accidentally.  Our daughter-in-law worked at a local health food store and brought J some CBD oil to try. J has a myriad of symptoms from MS, one of them being these weird “leg seizures.” He gets what feel like electrical shocks in his feet that cause his legs to lock up.  He takes Baclofen for that, and is maxed out on the daily dose – trust me, we asked his neuro if he could increase it and she said, “Um, no. Sorry.” One night when his legs were bothering him, and also me (Don’t judge. Any of you sit next to someone who keeps jerking and locking his legs you’ll know what I mean. It’s unpleasant), so he decided to try it.

Now, it was night time, and the oil is in a dark bottle, and it said to start with two pumps.  Well, I kept thinking that it wasn’t coming out and actually gave him about 10 pumps.  It was like magic! His legs were still for the first time in a long time! And I don’t think you can overdose on CBD, so it was also great knowing I didn’t just poison my husband.

If you have a partner, this can lead to problems developing online doctor viagra in your relationship. You can use the cipla cialis india and get huge discounts from the price of the ED medications, The medications available on our website is manufactured by the renowned healthcare experts to cure low sperm count. In this kind of treatment the patient is given complete counseling sildenafil generic canada about sexual practice so that he can develop healthy erections for a pleasing intimate moment spent in the bed Some physical and psychological changes can affect the function of reproductive system and can make it harder to keep erections during sexual act in the bed. In a word, the cost of this levitra without prescription is not so much available in the open and even address their spelevitrats. Not only were his leg seizures quieted to almost nothing, but he didn’t “run” in his sleep either.  Let me explain: as soon as J would fall asleep his body would start moving – and not just a little. Every… single… muscle in his body would move constantly. It was like lying next to someone who was trying to run a marathon in his sleep – not restful for him or for me. But the CBD oil changed that. That’s when he decided that this stuff was magic and he wanted to tell others about how great CBD oil was.  He sells it on his website (www.livingwithjeff.com), which we’re still working on (so be nice about it, would ya?) and hope to have tons more information added in the near future. CBD oil has been proven beneficial for: seizure and tremor disorders, memory, mood, pain control, anxiety, lupus, arthritis, nausea, and an increase in benefit when combined with antipsychotic meds. One thing CBD will not do is get you high.  Seriously. Let me say it again, “CBD oil will not get you high.” THC is the psychotropic part of cannabis that gets you high. You should check it out, but I’ll talk more about it later in a later post anyway.

Despite how great it is, this blog is not about the wonders of CBD oil. It’s about J and MS, and what it does to everyone. MS sucks. My hope by writing this is to let others know they’re not alone. MS affects everyone differently, but it affects everyone. It impacts my relationship with my husband, his relationship with his young sons, his very different his role as a father now than to his older children, his ability to work around the house, his ability to drive, and has now impacted us financially with my reduction in hours.

Oh, hey, by the way, did you know that in the State of Washington you can get paid to be a caregiver to your adult disabled child, but you cannot get paid to be a caregiver for your disabled spouse? Yeah, call your representative.  I could divorce J and get paid to be his caregiver, I even have a client who had to do that very thing, but we’re not there yet and I’m hopeful things will change before we ever reach that point.

Anyway, this is our journey with MS. I invite you to come along and share in our joys, failures, struggles, and perhaps some will resonate with you. I’m not alone in this journey and neither are you. Welcome.

My thoughts are my own, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest or via Google. If what I write resonates with you please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! We’d love it if you follow us on Facebook (Melissa Gale or Living With Jeff), or Twitter (@livingwjeff or @write2unpack). If you have any topics you’d like to talk about, reach out to me at write2unpack@gmail.com, or Jeff at livingwithjeff61@gmail.com. Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!

 

New Beginnings From Google

So here we are, you and I, a brand new year spiraling up from the ending of the last. It was 3° this morning at my house and as per usual I have a million things swirling around in my brain: camping in the cold this weekend, wishing I was back in Hawaii camping in Hana, the best way to stay warm… but, the draw of the new year is too strong to resist and I keep coming back to that – new beginnings.

I typed in “new beginnings” on my search engine and the top results were: an adoption facility, two drug and alcohol rehab centers, and an LDS (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) site for their program for young women to help guide them in their faith and spirituality.

Perfect! Those are great things to help us in our year of new beginnings!

1. Adoption facility. Adoptions are about families growing together or being created with love. One of my focuses this year is to be a better wife and mom. I want to strengthen my bond with all of my children, and my husband, and grow our families with love.

Some families are created. I have a special group of friends I call my “chosen family.” The adoption site is a good reminder that families are not always bonded by blood, some are bonded by choice. This doesn’t make them less important, and I need to remember to reinforce those ties with love too.

2. Drug and alcohol rehab/detox centers. Ok, this one should be obvious. New years are a time for resolutions. Whether it’s to cut back on drinking, lose a few (or 25) pounds, or to eat more healthy, these sites are a reminder that you CAN do it. Sometimes we fail, sometimes we need others to help us (did I mention I’m in an accountability group?), and sometimes we need to find others like us in order to know we’re not alone and who will help us succeed.

Need inspiration? Find inspiration in the lotus flower.  Arguably one of the most beautiful flowers, the lotus flower grows up through dark and muddy waters, finds the light and blooms. Rise above the dark and bloom!
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3. LDS program for young women. We are all spiritual beings. It doesn’t matter if you’re Mormon, Catholic, Scientologist, Muslim, or Wiccan. This site is a good reminder to nurture that side of you as well. Don’t get so caught up in physical things that you neglect your spirituality. Take time for yourself to investigate your faith, strengthen your relationship with God, Allah, or nature… whatever you believe in – take some time to reinforce that bond and make yourself more well-rounded – more whole.

It’s also reminder that we should be good role models, not just for our children, but for others as well.  Be kind, be thoughtful, be loving and teach others to be the same. I’ve never learned so much about any particular thing than when I was teaching another about it.

Is it coincidence that today’s post about perseverance (in love, health, and spirituality) was inspired by the persistence of the new year? Nah, I don’t believe in it. This week, my reader, I encourage you to take the lessons of “new beginnings” to heart: Love and grow your families, make healthy choices, and explore your faith. Feel free to drop me a line and share your successes, struggles, or lessons!

My thoughts are my own, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale), Instagram (write2unpack), or Twitter (@write2unpack). If you have any topics you’d like to talk about, reach out to me at write2unpack@gmail.com. Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!