“…Brace yourself for a whole lot of ugly coming at you from a never ending parade of stupid.” Motormouth Maybelle, Hairspray
Tolerance is the lesson I’m receiving this week. My youngest son was sent to the principal’s office for punching another kid in the arm, Inauguration Day is fast approaching, and last but not least, we finished watching “Hairspray” on TV. Let’s take these in order:
1. My 10 year old was at school and asked to use the bathroom. He was given permission from the teacher and was running across the room when another student pushed his chair out in Ahren’s way intentionally trying to hurt him. Ahren tripped and fell down, then got back up and slugged the offending kid in the arm. Both students got lunchtime detention.
Now, there’s a part of me that is proud that he stood up for himself – I teach them to do that, but also a part of me that cringes because he reacted with violence – I do not teach them that. I suppose it’s a natural response to want to hurt someone who hurt you, I see it all the time in the dissolutions that come through the office, but that’s not what I teach them – there are other ways to deal with someone hurting you. If Ahren had utilized just a smidgen of tolerance he wouldn’t be in lunch detention. I’m not saying he shouldn’t have stood up for himself, just that in those situations there are alternatives to violence.
2. On January 20, 2017, President Elect Trump will be our 45th President.
(Nerd alert: He’s technically only our 44th President because Grover Cleveland was elected as both our 22nd and 24th President. He won, lost re-election, and then won again making Donald Trump the 44th person to be elcted, but also the 45th President… Weird, huh?)
Regardless of who you voted for, or if you didn’t vote (you should be informed about both sides and vote), if this election has taught me anything it’s that we need more tolerance in the world.
I’m not saying just accept things you don’t like, you should fight for what you believe in, just that it’s ok if people have different viewpoints. We are a free country, tens of thousands of Americans have died, fought for, and are still fighting for that right – my family members included. Just because someone believes differently than you doesn’t mean you should hate them. Talk to them, try to understand, and if you still disagree… ok, you disagree.
3. I first saw Hairspray in the late 80’s when Ricki Lake played the part of Tracy Turnblad. She’s a full-figured girl in the 60’s who wants to be on a teen dance show. The movie deals with tolerance issues such as body shaming, social discrimination, interracial issues, and segregation. It’s a corny, funny movie, and I’m glad I watched it with my sons.
While we were watching it The Best Husband Ever whispered to me, “They (our boys) don’t know what they (the actors) are talking about.” He was right, sort of. They learned about segregation in school, but we teach our children that everyone’s different and a person’s worth is not determined by their body shape or skin color. There are plenty of skinny, white jackasses out there.
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Dr. Bill Hettler developed a wellness model that described the six areas of wellness for people (here’s a link that explains it). Many of those wellness categories match up with tolerance benefits:
Social benefits: Tolerance gives you the power to make choices that will enhance your relationships with friends and family, which in turn will build a better community around you.
Spiritual benefits: Tolerance is mind-opening. When exploring your spirituality and investigating other’s spiritual beliefs it’s best to have an open mind.
Intellectual benefits: Tolerance encourages problem solving, creativity and learning. Being tolerant of others allows us to recognize potential problems and work together to the benefit of everyone.
Emotional benefits: Tolerance allows us to recognize our own feelings and the feelings of others. When we’re tolerant we can express our feelings, allow others to express their feelings, and build trusting and respectful relationships. Being intolerant gives us negative feelings, while practicing tolerance gives us positive feelings. Think about it, when was the last time you were intolerant – how did you feel? Bad, right?
So, my reader, tolerance is the lesson I’ve been receiving this week and the lesson I want to share with you. Tolerance doesn’t just happen. I challenge you to choose tolerance with your co-workers, friends, families, and even the stranger driving down the road with a political bumper sticker for the candidate you didn’t vote for.
My thoughts are my own, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale), Instagram (write2unpack), or Twitter (@write2unpack). If you have any topics you’d like to talk about, reach out to me at write2unpack@gmail.com. Oh, hey, and if you sign up to follow me you’ll never miss a post!