Last week I wrote about the importance of tolerance: how there is so much hate and intolerance in this world and how we need to bring more love and respect into it. This week I thought I’d explore the other side of that coin: how too much tolerance is just as awful. Sometimes it’s ok to be intolerant, for example:
1. Don’t tolerate hate. Here’s a video (Click here to watch it. *Warning: harsh language) that was taken at a Kentucky JC Penny Store. The video shows a customer paying for her belongings, and when her friend brings her a couple additional items of clothing the woman behind her starts yelling and swearing at the women. She yells racial slurs and publicly scolds them, shouting they should go back to where they came from and they must be on welfare and everyone there paid for their purchases – due to their ethnicity. The angry woman didn’t know them, didn’t know their circumstances, but started rudely and loudly berating them – and people tolerated her hatred.
At one point the store clerk asks her to watch her language, but no one tells her to stop. The customers tolerate her rudeness and intolerance and allow her to continue bullying a complete stranger. Her behavior should not be tolerated.
2. Don’t tolerate “settling.” We stay in jobs we hate and relationships that are toxic because “it’s really not that bad.” We think so little of ourselves that we believe we’re not worth that raise, or worth being treated well by our lovers. Usually this doesn’t happen overnight. Situations change and deteriorate slowly and we learn to tolerate bad behavior: bosses who never listen or support us, or lovers who make us believe how they treat us is what we deserve. We stop challenging ourselves to do better and settle for mediocrity.
Now I’m not saying that you should never be happy with what you have, it’s essential to be grateful and thankful, but that doesn’t mean resigning yourself to less just because your self-worth has been lowered. Maybe take a page out of Andy Grammar’s book and see your situation with “Fresh Eyes.” (Check out his super cool video here and be sure to watch for his message at the end). If you’re in a toxic relationship, flip it and look at it as if it was your daughter’s relationship. Would you tolerate her being treated that way?
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3. Don’t tolerate ungratefulness. People who are ungrateful are simply taking advantage of you. It’s good to do nice things for people, and honorable to do nice things for people who can’t give you anything in return, but foolish to do things for people who are not grateful and have a sense of ingratitude about your kindness. Ever heard that old saying? “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”
There are two sides to everything, including tolerance. This week, my reader, I encourage you to demand more from yourself – work towards that goal knowing you deserve it. Demand people treat you, as well as others, with respect. It’s good to be tolerant of others and to be respectful of their differences of opinion, but this week I challenge you to be intolerant of rudeness, mediocrity, and ungratefulness. Try it and see what a difference it makes!
My thoughts are my own, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale), Instagram (write2unpack), or Twitter (@write2unpack). If you have any topics you’d like to talk about, reach out to me at write2unpack@gmail.com. Oh, hey, and if you sign up to follow me you’ll never miss a post!