Summer has been busily spinning out of control, and just when I was feeling super behind… BAM! My friend Elizabeth Stephens messages me with a guest post for my blog. Being the delightful, upfront, and candid kind of girl she is, she sent me a post on how to write about sex. Thanks, Ellie, and thanks to The Universe for its timing. Today has now been freed up to work on my Erotic Tarot short stories. Stay tuned for more on that!
WARNING!!!
THIS POST CONTAINS EXPLICIT LANGUAGE
I write erotic-romance-sci-fi, and it doesn’t bother me to talk (or write) about body parts and the act of sex, but it makes some people squeamish. If you’re one of those people, stop reading now and nose through my archives for something a little less spicy. (Here’s a post about a honey bee named Leon who loves the color purple)
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Boobs or tits? Cock or shaft? One author’s view on the mechanics of a good sex scene.
By Elizabeth Stephens
I’d like to preface by stating a few simple facts: I am an author of steamy romance, I have had sex before, and I do not claim to be an expert on either (as much as I’d like to believe otherwise). Now that that’s out of the way, let’s investigate what I think it takes to write a good sex scene.
Don’t rely on what you learned in your 7th grade Health class.
I read a book recently that was pretty decent. Sexy, possessive bikers and wanna-be-tough heroines woven into what began as a simple, but OK plot. Then we got to the first sex scene and oh boy. At the first mention of areolas, I smiled. At the second, I laughed. Labia, equally, threw me off. And by the time I found the first stiff cock, I was already giggling too much at the repeated mention of boobies to take the poor guy seriously.
Do use grown up vocabulary.
Ass, tit, dick, cock, pussy, clit. If you’ve ever seen Trainwreck, you’ll remember that opening scene where Amy Schumer asks her partner to talk dirty to her. When you’re at your hottest, just think, which would you rather someone whisper in your ear? “I wanna fuck your vagina,” or “I wanna fuck your pussy.” “Let me lick your labia,” or “Let me lick your clit.” Anatomical descriptions never win.
Don’t overuse your favorite vocabulary.
This to me is the hardest bit. You’ve already mentioned his cock and his dick in the same paragraph but the sex isn’t over yet. So then you find yourself moving into your second tier vocab. ‘His thick shaft,’ ‘his hardened length,’ ‘his pulsing manhood.’ This gets us into the whole world of adjectives.
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Do use adjectives – but use them sparingly.
When too many things start throbbing the whole scene starts to get ugly. Adjectives can be very useful in describing your second tier vocabulary. If you just said ‘length’ your reader might double take to understand what you’re talking about. Adjectives help pump life into a story, but can just as easily confuse paragraphs by creating redundancy. “Her dripping pussy was wet” is not as good as “Her pussy was wet” and, “Her dripping pussy was ready for him” might not be as good as “Her pussy was wet and ready for him.” As is the case with all my writing, I try as much as possible to abide by the rule of KISS – Keep It Simple Stupid.
Don’t forget that what happens is not as important as how it feels.
You’ve got limbs moving and bodies thrusting, but describing how her leg lifted to move your couple into a different position is not as important as how his hand felt on the inside of her thigh, or how her skin tasted when he kissed the back of her neck. Don’t get so bogged down in the physical motions you forget about those sensory details.
Do use personal experience, but don’t only use it.
Writing about sex if you’ve never had it might be a challenge, but just because it’s a challenge doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Your fantasy may well be fantasies shared by others, so you’d do them a disservice by not guiding them through it. However, I read a book recently where anytime the man penetrated the woman, she immediately shattered apart in some sort of mind boggling orgasm. This pulled me out of the story. Using your personal experiences might be helpful in remembering what is biologically possible, and what is too outlandish to believe, even in fiction.
Don’t be embarrassed.
This may be the most important thing to bear in mind: you’re writing a sex book. Don’t be shy! So your mom might read it? Your in laws? Your boss? Your dad? The question becomes: do you want to write your book or theirs? If the answer is your book, then don’t hesitate to go balls deep (pun very much intended) and let your freak flag fly.
Elizabeth Stephens is a romance and science fiction author. Her newest release, The Hunting Town, came out July 16, 2017 and is a small town, mafia romance. Last year saw the publication of Saltlands, book two in a dystopian romance series which began with Population. More information can be found on her website, which also provides a free step-by-step self-publishing guide for aspiring authors.
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