Lately my brain has been swirling around the power of touch, specifically the significance and depth of meaning of holding hands. Generally the first thing I notice about a guy – you can tell a lot about a fellow by looking at his hands. So, let’s start with the briefest of hand holds – the handshake. Whether it’s a sweaty handshake, firm handshake, limp, massive iron grip, or the two-handed “sandwich” handshake, I could write a whole post on the different types of handshakes and the personalities that go with them – but that’s for another time. Today I’m going to talk about holding hands, and a handshake is a good starting point.
Handshakes are a momentary hand hold, sometimes between strangers, that can signify different things. They are used as a polite greeting, to seal an agreement, a way of saying good bye, or thank you. All these things can be said through the touch of a hand.
How to Hold Hands
When it comes to holding hands, there are many different ways to do it, and everyone has their preference. You can cup your hands with your palms touching, you can interlock fingers (this is my favorite and lends itself to the oh-so-sensual “thumb rub”), or the pinky-link. This is good if your hands are sweaty or for a more casual, comfortable hand hold.
There have been studies done on personalities and how people hold hands. When holding hands the cupped palms way the person on top is dominant. This doesn’t necessarily mean in that “50 Shades of Grey” kind of dominance, but a mother will often take her toddler’s hand this way to help them across the street, or walk them through the store – it shows authority.
Why we Hold Hands
It’s natural. We’re designed to hold hands. It’s embedded in our genes. Did you know that otters hold hands when they sleep so they don’t float away from each other? Even Mother Nature knows the importance of holding hands, and in addition to being amazingly cute little critters, otters also have developed a fantastic way not to get separated.
It offers comfort. Holding hands has been scientifically proven to reduce pain, anxiety, and stress. This study by the university of Virginia showed actual MRI proof that after receiving an electric shock the stress response in the women’s brains was less when holding another person’s hand and significantly less when holding their husband’s hand. We hold hands when we’re scared, or nervous, and it helps. Not only do we feel better, but science says we actually are better.
One of my favorite things that Charming Guys do, without hesitation or question, is to hold out their hand so I can take it and be comforted. Not only do I immediately feel better, but I am instantly grateful.
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Holding hands with our loved ones is a way of connecting with them and it also publicly states, “We’re together.” And have you ever slowly intertwined your fingers with your lover? Slowly sliding your fingers between theirs… super sensual.
We can help. Holding hands has been around for ages. (Nerd alert: Originally published in 1475, Geoffrey Chaucer’s “The Canterbury Tales” is the earliest account I can find of the phrase “Lend me your hand.” That’s a heck of a long time ago!)
We hold hands with the elderly to help them across a street. A gentleman offers his hand to a lady to assist her when stepping up, or across. We hold the hands of our toddlers to help them down stairs. Reaching out your hand to someone means you’re willing to help.
It’s important. There are a lot of songs about holding hands: from Hootie & The Blowfish singing about wanting to hold my hand and take me down the road, or The Fray wanting me to hold their hand because the sky is falling, or, my personal favorite, Michael Jackson and Akon telling me that “Things will get better if you just take my hand” for years musicians have deemed holding hands to be song-worthy.
Holding hands is a conduit of love. It’s a way to connect with someone that means so much without saying a word. There’s magic in human touch, and magic in the touch of a hand. The great thing is that there’s no secret to this magic, anyone can do it… just reach out.
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