Hemmingway said, “Write hard and clear about what hurts.” Well, what hurts right now is my heart for the pain my friend is in due to the loss of her nephew, for her brother and sister-in-law for the loss of their son, for the widowed bride for the loss of her husband, and for the babies they made for the loss of their daddy.
Last week my friend lost her nephew. Some of you knew him, some of you maybe not. I’ve known Brandon for about 20 years. We weren’t best friends, or even good friends for that matter, but he’d always say “hey” each time we met or passed while running. I met him through his aunt when we worked together. She’d tell me stories about how his mom and dad sure had their hands full with him. About how one time, when he was about 3-4 years old he’d been running through the house with a blanket over his head, ran square into a doorknob and had a goose egg the size of your fist on his head. His mom, a nurse, took him to the doctor and the doctor asked, “Well Brandon, how did this happen?” and the response from the red headed, leg swinging, goose-egged child, “My mom did it.” Luckily his mom knew the doctor and he believed her when she explained that she had been chasing Brandon through the house, trying to catch him before he hurt himself, when he ran into the door. And how that, to a child, made it his mother’s fault.
Brandon was 38 years old. He got into some trouble as a youth, like many boys do, but he turned himself around and became an amazing athlete and an inspiration to many. He found a lovely woman to marry, and they have 2 children who are, more than likely, going to take after him in more ways than just his looks. Brandon’s death is important, it means something and it hurts. But the pain is because his life meant something – and that’s more important. The most important thing about him was the life he lived, the lives he touched, the people he loved, and the people who loved him.
There are plenty of order levitra online centers available that provide information about their medication or about themselves. Vidarikand improves blood buy levitra uk flow to the reproductive organs. It improves strength and sex drive by increasing blood buy pfizer viagra flow to male organ. Activity: This product is a blend of sildenafil citrate and Dapoxetine could develop a number of side effects in the people. cialis properien icks.org I am saddened by Brandon’s passing. All the clichés seem to fit: “He was taken too young.” “He still had so much to do.” But this week I’ve been trying to comfort my friend, and wrap my head around her brother and sister-in-law mourning the loss of their child. One of my deepest fears is the loss of one of my children. It just seems to go against the natural order of things. The old should die before the young. My friend told me about how her brother, sister-in-law, and Brandon’s wife went to view his body one last time before he was cremated. I’m not sure I could do that, but then again… what would I do to hold my child one more time? I don’t know, and I don’t want to.
It can be tricky to comfort a friend who’s grieving. I want to be there for her; to cry with her, to hold her, to love her, and to do anything that will ease her pain – if only for a little bit. Do I bring her dinner? Wash and detail her car? Buy her a massage? Show up unannounced and insist we cry together? I don’t want to push into her space if she needs time to be alone and cry, but I don’t want to leave her alone if she needs someone there. I chose to trust her. She knows I’m just a phone call or text message away, and I’ll be there in a heartbeat with vodka and tissues if that’s what she needs – just like she’d do for me.
So what’s the message in this post? What I want to say this week is that grief is universal. It either has or will touch all of us. And yeah, sure, we all grieve differently – we’re supposed to. We grieve at different rates, in different ways, and at different times. That’s not important. It’s not important how we grieve, just that we do it together.
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