Having no idea what to write about today I sat at my computer and asked, “What do you want to write about today?” And then listened. I like to write sexy, uplifting and inspirational posts, so probably something along those lines. Then I heard “Don’t be a douche.” (no, not really) Perfect! Sexy is not being a douchebag, inspirational is not being a douchebag, and so today’s inspiration found me.
First, I couldn’t decide or figure out if it’s “douche bag” or “douchebag.” There are so many articles and websites about both it was making my head spin, so I’ve decided to just shorten the term to “douche” for today’s excursion.
Second, everyone knows what a douche is, correct? Not the literal item, but the urban dictionary kind of douche. Generally speaking, it’s that person who thinks they’re more important than everyone else, rules don’t apply to them, and they can do or say whatever they want and they’re funny/charming even though everyone else knows they’re not. The things they do get in the way of creating real, trusting and respectful relationships.
In the spirit of reducing the amount of douchebaggery in the world (Yes, that’s right. I’m a writer I can make up words if I want), let’s talk about 5 things you can do to not be a douche.
1. Listen. When you’re having a conversation listen to what the other person is actually saying, and then respond thoughtfully. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk, or interrupt because you think what you have to say is more important. The goal of a conversation is to expand it, not to narrow it.
2. Care. Everyone’s going through something you know nothing about, and different things affect people differently. Just because you wouldn’t be so upset if your cat died, doesn’t mean that your friend should just suck it up and not be sad. Maybe he/she rescued that cat and nursed it back to health and that cat’s been with them through some really tough times and has been their only source of comfort. Understand their feelings are different than yours and that’s ok. Be a decent human and care that your friend is hurting, regardless of the reason.
3. Be present. You know that guy who is on a date and watches all the other girls as they walk past his table and then leaves his number for the waitress? Or the one who spends all their time on their phone checking something or texting someone else instead of the person they’re actually with? Don’t do that. Talk to, listen to and build a better relationship with the person who’s actually occupying the space in front of you.
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4. Make mistakes. I’m not saying you should intentionally screw things up, but accept that you’re human and may not know everything. Sometimes you’ll be wrong. Admit it when you are. If you can’t be honest with yourself how can you expect others to be honest with you?
5. Be kind to yourself. If you’re hateful to yourself you’ll probably be hateful to others. If you’re hateful to others they’ll be hateful to you. It’s a vicious cycle that starts with you. For example: My 10 year old loves the TV show “Paw Patrol.” It’s a show that’s geared for 5-6 year olds. Now, my son is wicked smart and reads at the high school level, but he’s insecure and when his brother makes a smart-ass comment, Ahren lashes out. When Ahren lashes out Aidan comes right back at him and now it’s a thing. If Ahren was kinder to himself and didn’t feel bad because he likes a cute puppy show that’s inspirational and teaches kids to be honest, loyal, and trustworthy, he would’ve just said something like “Yeah. So? I like it.” and his brother’s taunting would have been defused. Be who you are and give yourself the grace you would give another.
Now, we’re all subject to this behavior from time to time. I’ve done it before, even though I try not to. We all do it, we all have bad days, and that’s OK – it’s what makes us human. It’s important to take a breath and remember that we’re all in this together, and it’s not always easy. It takes practice. So this week, my reader, I encourage you to get out there and practice not being a douche!
My thoughts are my own, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale), Instagram (write2unpack), or Twitter (@write2unpack). If you have any topics you’d like to talk about, reach out to me at write2unpack@gmail.com. Oh, hey, and if you sign up to follow me you’ll never miss a post!