Category Archives: Write2Unpack

This week I was wondering what to write about and a friend asked if I had written about football yet. Of course! I love football.  I love, love, love, love watching football. And despite what my husband will tell you, it’s not just the tight ends. (Although they’re allllll tight ends…).  I love a good, clean, well-fought game of football. I love the strategy of football, the aggression of football, and the passion of the coaches and players. For me, the only thing good about summer coming to an end is that football season is starting up. Oh, and October – the month of my birth, but we’ll get to that on a different post.

Last month I wrote about my little camper (Fun With My Beaver) and all the fun we have with it, so this month I thought about having a little fun with football.

Thinking about what to write, I wondered, “What is the most important thing about football?” The strength and agility of the running back? The surety of the hands of the receiver? The necessity of the tight end to be a blocker and a receiver? And then it came to me –  it’s the thing that all players covet. The catalyst that turns players into primal beasts protecting and fighting for it.

It’s… the ball.

Balls are important in any sport or activity, and we could probably talk for hours about how knitting takes balls, or how some guys play with smaller balls, or how in billiards you’re actually expected to break another guys balls… but this post is about football.

Not only is football a fantastic sport, but the fun thing about football is it’s just like talking about a guy’s junk. Think about it, in football:

• They keep their balls in a sack.
• They get distressed if one is missing.
• They constantly check their balls.
• Everyone gets upset if they’re not firm enough.
• They’re hard to handle when they get too cold.
• Even though they’re being played with they’re still protected
• They try to keep other guys from grabbing their balls.
• They wear gloves when they’re expected to touch another guy’s balls.

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It’s universal.

This week I think my little bit of inspiration and encouragement to you, my reader, is to get outside. It’s Fall – the time for football and crisp autumn air. Get a group of friends together and play a little football. Oh, and please remember, a gentleman always asks permission before playing with another guy’s balls.

I love input, so please feel free to leave me a comment below or find me on Facebook (Melissa Gale) and connect with me there. Oh, and sign up to follow me. It’s easy and you won’t miss a post!

I was walking on the Loop with my friend last week – we talk about all sorts of things on our walks, and last week we got to talking about hugs. Different kinds of hugs, people we know who are good huggers, why it’s important to be a good hugger… that kind of thing.  So thank you, my friend, for being a good hugger and for this week’s topic.

Everyone who knows me knows I’m a hugger. I firmly believe that people should hug more – genuinely hug more. What is it that makes someone a good hugger anyway? Hugging should be a wonderfully comforting, calming, natural, and even intimate act.  I don’t mean intimate like the intimacy between couples. It doesn’t have to be sexual to be intimate. Some of the best hugs are simply about the connection.

As with all things, the “why” is part of the “what.” As in, what makes someone a good hugger? Why is it important to be a good hugger? Well, that’s as individual and varied as people.  You should want to be a good hugger because:

A good hugger is showing that they don’t have intimacy issues, or at least that they’re not afraid to get close to someone.

A good hugger can say more with an embrace than with words.  Saying “I’m sorry” “I miss you” “Thank you” or “I love you” are all great things to say to others, but when you hug someone they can feel it. (Word of caution though: Make sure the “I’m sorry” is well received before going in for a hug).

A hug is reassuring. We all have good days, bad days, days when we feel like we’re alone. A sincere hug can reassure us that we’re not alone. It says, “Hey, I’m here for you.”

Ok, so now you know the why, but to know how to be a good hugger you should be aware of the different types of hugs.

Side hug. This one, although “appropriate” is totally awkward and devoid of any kind of connection or genuine feeling.  In today’s society I understand the need for a socially acceptable form of a hug (teacher to student) but that doesn’t mean it’s a good hug.

When I was in 3^rd grade my teacher, Mrs. Hess, would full-on-frontal-hug all us kids as we left for the day.  I am lucky enough to have been hugged by my parents as a child, but Mrs. Hess’ end-of-the-day hugs may have been the only hug that some of those kids ever had. It certainly made an impact on me and I still remember her hugs 36 years later.

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Awkward Hug by the Beefcake. You know this one. The hug by a friend who’s very strong, knows he’s very strong and either puts his arms around your neck and you get strangled, or who holds his arms around you like a Barbie doll stand and braces them so you get “circle arms.” Certainly a better hug than the Side Hug, but still not great.

Full on Frontal Hug. This is the best by far. This allows us to open ourselves to each other and truly feel the connection. Whether it’s reassurance, love, friendship, sorrow, comfort… when we hug our hearts should touch.

I happen to have a friend who is one of the best huggers I’ve come across. I asked him one time what he felt when he hugged a girl (he’s used to me asking weird and semi-inappropriate questions). He gave me the head-tilt-eyebrow-raise and I quickly had to clarify that I didn’t mean, “I feel her breasts against my chest” kind of feel, but what did he feel when he hugged someone.  Now, he’s very much the Knight in Shining Armor type of guy so his response didn’t surprise me at all. He said he didn’t focus on what he felt, but rather what he wanted the girl to feel when he hugged her.  He said, “I want her to feel my arms around her. I want her to feel my back muscles and how strong I am. I want her to feel that even though I’m strong I can be gentle. I want her to feel safe, protected.”

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn. Now that’s a good hug.

To simplify, a good hug is about the connection. Meet that person at the heart and they’ll automatically feel the genuineness of your reassurance, comfort, love, or compassion.

My wish for you this week, my reader, is that you feel my words embrace you and inspire you to be a great hugger.  Remember: practice, practice, practice!

I love input, so please feel free to leave me a comment below or find me on Facebook (Melissa Gale) and connect with me there. Oh, and sign up to follow me. It’s easy and you won’t miss a post!

I was having a conversation with a friend and he mentioned having many regrets throughout his life. That got me thinking: We all have regrets, but what is it that we regret and should we have regrets? I’m not talking about living a conscience-less life and doing whatever we want to whomever we want (that’s for our dreams, remember? Sex Dreams and Cheating), I’m talking about the value of regret.

A quick search on the internet reveals the most common regrets are:

Romance: Regretting a romantic decision could be a one-night decision, a long-term choice, or a missed opportunity.

Family: Regretting spending too much time away from family, whether it’s at work or some other reason.

Education: Regretting not going back to school and gaining that education dreamt about.

Career: Regretting making a career choice, or not.

This week was full of inspiration for this blog. I made a very personal confession to a small group of trusted friends and was, for the most part, accepted and loved for being who I am. Unfortunately I did receive a response that was like a slap in the face.

How many of us have been in that situation?  Feeling safe enough to expose our tender parts only to have someone cut us in it. Did I instantly regret it? Yes. I was hurt because of my misplaced trust. But as the hours and days pass I’m becoming more thankful that I allowed myself to be vulnerable and now have learned a lesson.  That’s the only gift that regret brings. If it ends badly and makes you feel something – good. Learn from it. Otherwise regret is only for those choices we didn’t make.

There are a ba-jillion cute little sayings out there and the messages are all the same: We should only regret the chances we didn’t take. Everything else is either a success or a lesson to learn.

1.  We learn to make sense of bad experiences. “Ok, so when I make this choice, then this will be the outcome.”

2.  We can avoid making the same mistake in the future. Sometimes making a mistake is what it takes to be able to identify a potentially bad situation and outcome.

3.  We can fix our mistakes. We can’t take back words said in anger, but an honest and heartfelt apology goes a long way towards fixing a wound.

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4.  We can change. Regret can bring change, and change brings opportunities.

5.  We can understand. Mistakes are part of the journey. We are imperfect beings and will make mistakes.  We need to be understanding of our mistakes as well as the mistakes of others.

So how to live a regret-free life you ask?  It’s simple:

Be courageous. Take chances. Speak kindly and honestly. Express your feelings.

Be happy. It’s ok. Whatever happened, happened in the past. Allow yourself the grace to be happy. You deserve it.

Prioritize family over work. if you want to be in the minds and memories of your children in the future, you need to be in their lives today.

Stay in touch with old friends.  There’s nothing quite as wonderful as being around those who know all your bad parts and love you anyway.

So get out there! If you love someone, tell them. Take chances. Make changes. Live life in the first row!

I love input, so please feel free to leave me a comment below or find me on Facebook and connect with me there. Oh, and sign up to follow me. You won’t regret it!