Category Archives: Write2Unpack

Today, my writing day, is Veteran’s Day.  Anyone who knows me knows I grew up in a family of war veterans, and have the utmost respect for anyone who’s served.  I was going to write my post on Veterans and their sacrifice, but I’m really not one to do things the way everyone else does, and it just seems too cliché to write about Veterans on Veteran’s Day. Veterans should be honored on any day, not just today, and so I will keep my post to myself for now and honor them another day with my writing. Today I do want to say, “Thank you” to the men, women, and canines who have served. Truly and sincerely from my heart I thank you all.

This last week has been an interesting one.  My office has relocated to a fantastic new space, my office at home is coming together more and more (and the spiders are here less and less – you know that’s an important factor), but what inspired today’s blog post was a friend who had a serious health issue.  He’s on the mend and with his illness came my desire to help in the one way I learned as a child – I make soup.

My mother has been a master soup maker as long as I can remember. She had me in the kitchen as soon as I was old enough to stand on a stool and stir with a spoon. She’d tell me about the healing qualities of different foods, and in particular – chicken soup.

The healing qualities of chicken soup are so potent it’s also called “Jewish Penicillin.” I wish I could whisper to you the special way to simmer it, or the super-secret-ingredient that’s been handed down from generation to generation, but honestly it’s one of the easiest soups to make.  The ingredients may be simple, but don’t be fooled by the simplicity.  The healing power of chicken soup is legendary.

Chicken soup is the ultimate comfort food.  It’s warm, soothing, easy to digest, full of vitamins and protein – things your body needs to heal itself. Chicken soup supports our immune systems, and our immune systems could sure use some support.  Stress is notoriously bad for our bodies. In addition to the often discussed high blood pressure and heart attacks, it also creates chronic inflammatory conditions and lowers our immunity which increases our vulnerability to infections and autoimmune disease.

Research has shown that chicken soup acts as an anti-inflammatory and temporarily speeds up mucus through the nose. This reduces congestion and limits the amount of time viruses are in contact with the lining of your nose. Plus, the additional liquids help loosen chest congestion and prevent dehydration.

A researcher and pulmonary expert at the University of Nebraska Medical Center, Dr. Stephen Rennard, found that chicken soup performed better at reducing cold symptoms than just hot water. Modern scientists have never completely figured out the reason why chicken soup is so much more effective, maybe that’s because science can’t measure the love and kindness that goes into making chicken soup for a loved one who’s sick.
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Think about it: when you’re not feeling well it’s a comfort to be cared for by another, and when we were sick as children it was likely a parent’s love and reassurance made us feel better.  Homemade soup has one essential ingredient that is lacking in the store-bought version, compassion.

My kids know chicken soup is great for healing. They’ve stood beside me in the kitchen, like I did with my mother a million times, and we talk about who we’re making the soup for and how we want them to hurry up and feel better.  There’s kindness and well-wishes in every bit of chopped vegetable and shred of chicken.  It’s not magic… not really, but with everything out there that’s so bad for us what can be more healing than something made with love?

I’m sure you’ve heard of the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” books.  Books filled with stories that inspire, motivate, and heal men, women, children, nurses, volunteers, dog lovers… there’s literally a Chicken Soup out there for every type of soul.

Everyone wants to feel better, and when they do they reach for chicken soup.

I love input, so please feel free to leave me a comment below or find me on Facebook (Melissa Gale) and connect with me there. Oh, and sign up to follow me. It’s easy and you won’t miss a post!

Lately my brain has been swirling around the power of touch, specifically the significance and depth of meaning of holding hands.  Generally the first thing I notice about a guy – you can tell a lot about a fellow by looking at his hands.  So, let’s start with the briefest of hand holds – the handshake.  Whether it’s a sweaty handshake, firm handshake, limp, massive iron grip, or the two-handed “sandwich” handshake, I could write a whole post on the different types of handshakes and the personalities that go with them – but that’s for another time.  Today I’m going to talk about holding hands, and a handshake is a good starting point.

Handshakes are a momentary hand hold, sometimes between strangers, that can signify different things. They are used as a polite greeting, to seal an agreement, a way of saying good bye, or thank you. All these things can be said through the touch of a hand.

How to Hold Hands

When it comes to holding hands, there are many different ways to do it, and everyone has their preference. You can cup your hands with your palms touching, you can interlock fingers (this is my favorite and lends itself to the oh-so-sensual “thumb rub”), or the pinky-link. This is good if your hands are sweaty or for a more casual, comfortable hand hold.

There have been studies done on personalities and how people hold hands. When holding hands the cupped palms way the person on top is dominant. This doesn’t necessarily mean in that “50 Shades of Grey” kind of dominance, but a mother will often take her toddler’s hand this way to help them across the street, or walk them through the store – it shows authority.

Why we Hold Hands

It’s natural. We’re designed to hold hands. It’s embedded in our genes. Did you know that otters hold hands when they sleep so they don’t float away from each other? Even Mother Nature knows the importance of holding hands, and in addition to being amazingly cute little critters, otters also have developed a fantastic way not to get separated.

It offers comfort. Holding hands has been scientifically proven to reduce pain, anxiety, and stress.  This study by the university of Virginia showed  actual MRI proof that after receiving an electric shock the stress response in the women’s brains was less when holding another person’s hand and significantly less when holding their husband’s hand.  We hold hands when we’re scared, or nervous, and it helps.  Not only do we feel better, but science says we actually are better.

One of my favorite things that Charming Guys do, without hesitation or question, is to hold out their hand so I can take it and be comforted. Not only do I immediately feel better, but I am instantly grateful.

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Holding hands with our loved ones is a way of connecting with them and it also publicly states, “We’re together.” And have you ever slowly intertwined your fingers with your lover? Slowly sliding your fingers between theirs… super sensual.

We can help. Holding hands has been around for ages. (Nerd alert: Originally published in 1475, Geoffrey Chaucer’s “The Canterbury Tales” is the earliest account I can find of the phrase “Lend me your hand.” That’s a heck of a long time ago!)

We hold hands with the elderly to help them across a street. A gentleman offers his hand to a lady to assist her when stepping up, or across. We hold the hands of our toddlers to help them down stairs.  Reaching out your hand to someone means you’re willing to help.

It’s important. There are a lot of songs about holding hands: from Hootie & The Blowfish singing about wanting to hold my hand and take me down the road, or The Fray wanting me to hold their hand because the sky is falling, or, my personal favorite, Michael Jackson and Akon telling me that “Things will get better if you just take my hand” for years musicians have deemed holding hands to be song-worthy.

Holding hands is a conduit of love. It’s a way to connect with someone that means so much without saying a word. There’s magic in human touch, and magic in the touch of a hand.  The great thing is that there’s no secret to this magic, anyone can do it… just reach out.

I love input, so please feel free to leave me a comment below or find me on Facebook (Melissa Gale) and connect with me there. Oh, and sign up to follow me. It’s easy and you won’t miss a post!

Halloween is right around the corner. Today is the last Breast Cancer Awareness Month post and I have been trying to settle on what to write. Finally I settled on self-empowerment. Breast cancer is deadly, but it is possible to survive a breast cancer diagnosis and this week’s post is about that: ways to detect, ways to prevent, ways to support, and a story about a really cool guy in Maryland.

Early detection is key.

• Self-exams. Who knows your breasts better than yourself? Self-exams should be done monthly. Your breasts will feel different depending on where you are in your cycle, so be sure to do this exam around the same time each cycle.
• Assisted exams. My husband is only too happy to help me with a breast exam. I’d wager my beautiful blonde-haired daughter that most men are quite willing to do a monthly “exam” for you and search out any changes that may need further investigation.
• Mammogram. A mammogram is an x-ray of your breast. Mammograms are responsible for catching the majority of early stage breast cancer while it’s still too small to feel. They hurt, but a moment of pain is worth your life.
• Thermal Imaging. Definitely the way I’m going to go this year. Thermal imaging captures heat signatures from your body. Cancer cells grow faster than non-cancerous cells, and show up as “heat” on the thermal imaging. Preparation is key to get a good read, so talk to your doctor or naturopath about having this done.  Mine even runs a 2 for 1 special every year.
• Ultra sound. Using sound waves to create a picture of your breast. I had this done after my mammogram revealed what would later turn out to be just a cyst. This is painless and offers a look inside your breast. I’m not saying don’t get a mammogram, but I wonder why we can’t just start here and skip the radioactive smashing?

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Look for warning signs

• A change in shape or size
• Rash or redness around the nipple
• Change in skin texture (like to the texture of an orange).
• Discharge (some discharge is normal – don’t panic, ask your doctor)
• A lump or thickness that feels different than the rest of your breast
• If your nipple becomes inverted or changes position or shape
• Constant pain in your breast or armpit.

Ways to prevent

• Decrease alcohol/sugar intake (ugh – I love wine!) Every article I read about how to prevent or lessen your chances of developing breast cancer had this listed.
• Eat real food. Processed food is bad for you. Some cancers feed on hormones (like the ones in meats and some dairy), there are many spices that are thought to fight or help prevent cancer, and (I believe) doTerra has an essential oil that they market as helping to increase breast health.
• Avoid parabens (methyl, propyl, and butyl). Parabens are preservatives that are in cosmetics and things like shampoos and lotions. There’s no proven link between parabens and cancer, but research has shown a consistent high level of parabens in cancerous breast tissue.  Check your labels. You’ll be surprised how often you’ll see methylparaben, propylparaben, or butylparaben as one of the ingredients.
• Have your Vitamin D checked. Vitamin D is one of nature’s most powerful cancer fighters. One article I read claimed that Vitamin D can actually kill cancer cells. I’m not sure if that’s true, (any scientists out there?) but I know low Vitamin D levels are almost always present in people with diseases such as cancer or MS.
• Reduce stress. Stress causes disease. Period. I know there’s no way to avoid it, but there are ways to cope with and reduce stress. Why not try something new if it will make you happier and healthier?

Ways to support

• Make sure you’re prepared yourself. Learning that a loved one has cancer is difficult. Allow yourself time to process and cope with your own feelings so that you can focus fully on them when you’re with them.
• Be there. Send a “thinking of you” note or a text with no response required. They’re probably tired and knowing that you are thinking of them and they don’t have to worry about responding is a delight and a relief.
• Offer to help. Don’t just say – “let me know,” but ask about a specific thing. “Hey, I was taking my dog for a walk, can I take yours too?”
• Make future plans but be flexible. Future plans give them something to look forward to, but make sure they’re flexible enough to allow for a cancellation or reschedule if your friend/loved one isn’t feeling up to it.
• Hug them. Cancer isn’t contagious and the healing power of touch is truly magical.

One really cool story.

I wanted to share a bit of inspiration today too. There are so many great stories out there about people who are fighting, have fought, support, and the ones that support the ones that support, it was really difficult to narrow it down to just one. I read about Vinnie Myers years ago and thought he was a prince then, and today I want to share his story with you. Vinnie is a tattoo artist who tattoos realistic, 3-D nipples on breast cancer survivors.  That’s all he does.  He started doing this in 2001 when a lady came to him and was unhappy with the nipple tattoo her plastic surgeon had done during her breast reconstruction. He has a little shop in Finksburg, Maryland called “Little Vinnie’s Tattoos.” Today.com posted a story about him earlier this month. Check out Vinnie Myers

Breast cancer survivors are changed in so many ways. They’ve had so much taken from them and have endured so much I thought this was a really cool way to give them back something to make them feel better about themselves.  Good job Vinnie!

There’s so much that’s so important to talk about when it comes to breast cancer awareness, but today I think I wanted most to inspire and protect.  I know I can’t actually protect anyone with my words, but if my words make one person do a self-exam, or make a lifestyle change, or reach a man who convinces his girl he wants to help her out, if one more person becomes more aware, and that one person makes one more person become more aware… it’ll be fantastic.

I love input, so please feel free to leave me a comment below or find me on Facebook (Melissa Gale) and connect with me there. Oh, and sign up to follow me. It’s easy and you won’t miss a post!