Category Archives: Write2Unpack

I had my nails done this week and while sitting there, captive for an hour and listening to the people speak around me in a language I couldn’t understand, I got to thinking about social etiquette.  Speaking in another language that you know another person can’t understand is considered rude, (except in nail salons?) because it purposefully excludes another. Whispering also purposefully excludes another, but is acceptable in certain situations (say, you need to quietly excuse yourself) and, if done right, whispering can be sexy.  That’s today’s post: How to be a Sexy Whisperer.

We whisper secrets, wishes, and desires. We’ve learned from when we were children that there are just some things that you don’t (or shouldn’t) say out loud. There’s another reason to whisper:  in addition to being super sexy, whispering makes us feel good.

You know that tingly feeling that starts at the top of your head and runs down your spine? That actually has a name – Autonomic Sensory Meridian Response ( or ASMR). Oh sure there’s science and studies around it, but put succinctly ASMR are “sounds that feel good.” Need a for example? Try Bob Ross and his “Let’s make them happy trees.”  As great as Bob Ross’s voice is, and as good and relaxed as we feel listening to him, let’s get back to the sexy part of whispering.

What to whisper to a guy. When whispering in a guy’s ear, it’s about the words.  Oh sure, the closeness factors in, but what really winds him up are the words you use.  So what do you say?

1. Whisper something that gives him the promise of more to come. (“Just wait until we get home/I get you alone.”
2. Whisper about something he can’t see. (“I’m so cold because I don’t have panties on.”)
3. Whisper a hint about a sexy game. (“I left my panties in the kitchen. Can you find them for me?)

How whisper to a girl. That’s right. With girls it’s more of a “how” question than a “what” question.  Many guys think they need to say something cheesy like, “I want to lick you head to toe.” Or “I must be hunting treasure because I’m digging your chest.” Yeah, while funny, that’s not really what gets us going. So how to turn us on with a sexy whisper?

1. Get close (and be sure you smell good)
2. Touch us (gently) on the shoulder/back

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3. Whisper strong enough that we can feel your breath, “these words don’t matter as much as the closeness/smell/low sound of your voice.”
4. Pull back.
5. Then either lean in again for another whisper, or let us come to you. Lean in and whisper in her ear and she’ll be captivated, lean in and whisper to her face-to-face and she’ll focus on your mouth.

I wrote about a sexy whisper in my (hopefully soon-to-be published) story.

“Joshua wraps his arm around me as we dance, pressing our bodies together. He holds my hand against his chest and my other arm wraps around his shoulder, keeping him close to me.  That’s how we dance: swaying slightly, feet offset, and barely moving. He raises his hand and slowly brushes my hair behind my ear and then back from my shoulder. He lets his fingertips gently caress my back and arm on their way back to hold my hand. His chest swells against mine as he brings his head down to my neck, quietly breathing in my perfume. I can’t help but to smile as I whisper in his ear. My lips inadvertently brush against his ear, and a shimmery tingle blooms on my lips where they’ve touched him. His arm tightens around my waist as he laughs, his stomach and chest rippling like waves against mine. Such a good feeling. It’s as if the gesture was entirely nice and sweet. There is not a single ounce of sneaky, or conniving, or manipulation in it. I’d like to say it was meant to be cleverly sensual, but it was unintended.  I think that is what made it so amazingly erotic.”

Melissa Gale ~ “The Between”

My thoughts for you this week: If you want to be a sexy whisperer, all you have to do is believe in the power of proximity, the warmth of your breath, and the softness of your voice.

Oh, and 10,000 brownie points if you can guess what Alex whispered in Joshua’s ear.

My words are my thoughts, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). Feel free to follow me on Pinterest (Melissa Gale) or Facebook. I love feedback, and invite you to comment or e-mail me with your thoughts. Signing up to follow me is the best way to make sure you don’t miss a post!

I’ve been married for 14 years. In 2002 my husband and I married in Maui on the beach, and this year we took our 2 youngest sons back to that beach.  It was every bit as beautiful and romantic as I remember. Later that night, as we sat on the lanai sipping wine, my husband looked over at me and said, “You should write about new love and old love. You know, how things are when you’re first in love and how it changes over the years.”

That’s a great idea, and so today’s blog post was born. New love is great and passionate, but old love is great and passionate too. So what’s the difference?

New love:  New love is intense, fiery, and physical. That spark of discovering each other (and each other’s bodies) lights up and fuels our nights.  In our younger years our bodies are smoother, sleeker, harder, and more shapely than they are in our 50’s and up. But that’s not to say that we can’t experience the passion and intensity of new love later in our years. Regardless of age we’re surprised by new lovers because so much about them is still unknown, everything is exciting and a new discovery.

New love can also mean “young love.” As a teenager we don’t have the obligations of being an adult and have more freedom to be focused on “what I want” instead of “what’s best for the family/my children/etc.” While exciting, this freedom can inhibit the softer nature of a deep, lasting bond. A bond that is formed with each tender touch, soft caress, and caring embrace offered without question and without strings.

Old love:  Old love is deep, intense, and opaque. The sheerness of being new to each other has weathered a few (or many) storms and has become a dense, complex love that is impenetrable to minor squalls. Old love has a roundness to it that new love does not. It has the strength to last because all our sharp pointy edges have been smoothed, and where we’ve broken our lover has held the glue to put us together again. The mysteries that were so exciting have been filled in and replaced with familiarity and (sometimes) contempt. And when things go wrong, they will go wrong, old love has enough devotion banked to cover when our lover (or we) fall short.

This week I was thinking how grateful I am to have a husband who knows how I like my coffee, that I like to sleep in, and holds my hand when we walk (anywhere) on the beach.

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My husband is retired and just recently we’ve discovered that he has a talent for drawing nudes. It’s something he enjoys, and yours truly is his favorite model – curves and all. We’ve decided that he’s going to start drawing nudes, and I’m going to write a short story around them.  They may sell, they may not, but I love this “something new” I can do with my old love to make us new and brighter again.

How about you? What excitement do you bring to your relationship? Are you complacent or do you try every day to pursue and delight your love? My wish for you this week is that you’re passionate about love – regardless of what stage you’re in. Love is an adventure.

My words are my thoughts, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). Feel free to follow me on Pinterest (Melissa Gale) or Facebook. I love feedback, and invite you to comment or e-mail me with your thoughts. Signing up to follow me is the best way to make sure you don’t miss a post!

Two-weeks ago as I was hot tubbing with my 11 year old son, he looked up at the full moon and said, “Mom! The moon is going to be half-full when we’re camping in Hawaii!” He’s a smart one, that kid of mine, and this week I write to you from Hawaii. My husband and I took our youngest children on vacation, and for the first 2 nights we didn’t have a room at our condo, so we decided to be adventurous and camp in West Maui.  That’s right – camping in Maui.

We packed a couple of 2 man tents in our luggage, along with some blankets and pillowcases that we stuffed with clothes to use as pillows, and planned to stay in a state park just before Hana. (Wai’anapanapa State Park). Now, when we made these plans we arranged to have a Ford Edge (moderately sized) as our rental car, but because the Universe had other plans for us, we ended up with a Ford Expedition (translation: a car the size of a small yacht) to drive on The Road to Hana. Having been on The Road to Hana a time or two, and remembering the one-lane road/bridges, I decided that would be an adventure of its own, and hey – if we got rained out all four of us could fit into the back and just sleep there.

We made it without incident (a little white knuckled, but without incident) to the State Park, where I planned to purchase a camping permit from the office or from the ranger, but apparently in West Maui you’re supposed to plan ahead and purchase your permits on-line at least 3 days in advance.  We tried to go on-line and purchase a permit right there, but there is no cell service or wi-fi to speak of, and just when we were about to give up and get back into the yacht and drive to a public parking lot to sleep, the lovely park ranger, Lani, came to our rescue.  Lani was kind and gracious, and so very understanding of a family of Haolis who failed to plan ahead and purchase their permits the required 3 days in advance, and allowed us to purchase the permit right then (after hours) and stay at the park for 2 nights. I am and will be forever grateful for her kindness and hospitality, and for the memories and lessons I learned while camping at the State Park.

Today’s blog post is about that adventure. Camping under the half-moon in Hana with my husband and two youngest sons, and the lessons presented. Lessons are everywhere when you pay attention.  If you follow my blog (which you should), you know I write about and try to pay attention, be present, and learn from the lessons that are offered.  The following are 10 things I learned while camping in West Maui.

1. Grass covered lava rock is not as soft as it looks.
2. Body heat is better than a blanket, and a blanket is better used as a cushion than for warmth.
3. There are wild chickens and roosters all over, and they are not afraid of the park cat.
4. Dogs in Hawaii still do the “Twilight Bark” even when there are no other dogs.
5. There are approximately 30 minutes between the end of the “Twilight Bark” of a Hawaiian dog and the start of the wild roosters crowing.

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6. When you can’t sleep because the ground is hard and the dog is barking you have to pee more.
7. Camping close to a bathroom is a plus when you have to pee a lot.
8. Peeing a lot is ok when you’re camping in Hawaii and the moon is half-full because there are a million stars and they all look closer and brighter.
9. Listening to waves crashing into cliffs in the middle of the night when everyone else is sleeping and you’re looking at the stars fills your whole being with the most amazing feelings of beauty and love.
10. When you’re camping with those you love it doesn’t matter how hard the ground is, how much the dog barks, or how early the roosters start crowing. It’s still a marvelous adventure.

We survived the road from Hana, and today I write to you from the lanai of our room. Yesterday, while waiting for our room to be ready, I met a couple of wonderful fellows from Vancouver, BC. Neighbors by fate (if you believe in such a thing) one of whom is a paramedic and here for vacation, and the other (a self-proclaimed “Maverick”) is here to spread the ashes of his late wife who recently passed away from ovarian cancer. Both men are sweet, kind, definitely charming, and since I don’t believe in coincidence I’m looking forward to finding out why the Universe has brought them to me (or me to them) and what adventures and lessons are offered in the coming week.

I love feedback so please feel free to leave me a comment, or find me on Facebook (Melissa Gale) and reach me there. If you’d prefer something less “social media-ish” you can send me an e-mail at: write2unpack@gmail.com. Oh, and sign up to follow me. It’s quick, easy, and you won’t miss a post!