Category Archives: Write2Unpack

Yesterday was one of those warm, grey, drizzly, summer days, and it got me thinking about slow dancing, rainy days, soft blankets and fireplaces. I have recently applied to an on-line content mill site (translation: freelance writer seeking work) and one of the pieces I was required to submit was, “Ways Riding A Bike Can Improve Your Dancing.”  With my recent blog submission and yesterday’s cozy musings, inspiration for today’s blog post found me – how dancing can improve your love life.

Whether you’re dancing by yourself, with friends, or with a possible or real-time lover, let’s talk about how it can improve your romantic relationships.

Rhythm: Ok, this is the obvious one. Bodies pressed together, moving together in time to the music, allows your body to learn to move in time to your lover without consciously thinking about it.  When you dance with someone you learn how they move, and by learning how they move to music, you learn how they move in the bedroom. Learning how your lover moves so you can anticipate what they’re going to do can only serve to improve your love life.

Confidence: A lover who’s sure of himself, who is confident enough to dance in public, or be silly and fun, likely means they’re confident enough to allow themselves to be adventurous and playful in the bedroom.

Control:  I actually thought about including this one in “confidence,” but then I thought it deserved its own bullet point.  A man who is in control of himself and his body, who is sure of himself and chooses his next steps, is sexy. A man who respectfully controls, or directs, or leads his dance partner is incredibly sexy. Being able to control yourself and your movements, and being able to lead your partner (on the floor or in the bedroom) will definitely improve your love life.

What can we call Impotence? Not only the complete viagra levitra lack of drive and fantasies. If you think condominium units are only for striving brand cialis professionals and independent bachelors, think again. This should not be difficult to understand by people. buying viagra in usa Then, when I moved to Colorado, generic line viagra I discovered rebounding. Stamina: Dancing builds strength and stamina. In my (hopefully) soon-to-be-published story, The Between, I write about how, instead of taking Alex out for the night, Joshua choose to treat her to “an exceptional night in.” Dancing isn’t just great exercise for those who want to get in shape or stay in shape, but also great for building up stamina for those exceptional nights in.

Social: This may be last, but it’s certainly not least. You won’t meet and get to know (really know) anyone at home on your couch. Oh sure, there’s on-line dating and lots of people have had success meeting a lover on an internet dating site, but think about it – you meet on-line and then go out in person.  Dancing is a great way to be social and be out with friends. It’s also a safe way to get to know a person – you’re out with lots of other people in a public place.  Besides, in today’s world of on-line shopping, texting, social media, and downloadable movies, we need to get out and interact with the world that’s actually around us – and dancing is a great way to do that.

Studies have shown that people who dance have a higher self-esteem, are more accepting of others, and have a more positive outlook on life.  This week, my readers, I encourage you to dance. Dance by yourself in the kitchen while you’re waiting for dinner to be ready, dance with your children to a silly song, or slow dance with your lover on a rainy day in front of the fireplace.  It doesn’t matter how you dance, just dance!

My words are my thoughts, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale) or Twitter (@write2unpack). Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!

Last week we talked about the lost art of writing love letters, and with the world being consumed by anger and hatred it’s more important than ever to tell our loved ones that we love them. That’s why this week we’re going to talk about how to write love letters.

1.  Love letters are timeless. Telling your loved one isn’t a thing of the past. People want to know how loved they are. Showing them through actions is how some people express love, but telling them that you love them – why you love them, is something they can hang on to and go back and re-read when they need it and you’re not there to show them. Bottom line: People want to know how loved and appreciate they are.

Love letter from Johnny Cash to June Carter Cash

2.  Don’t worry about making it sound like a “love letter.” Don’t try to sound like anyone else. Your loved one loves you, so just write like you normally write. Be open, be honest. Love letters should expose you, your feelings, and make you vulnerable.

3.  Don’t worry about length. If you’re not a wordy person don’t worry about trying to create a 50 page dissertation on “The Glories of <Name>.” Write what you want to say, what you feel, and then stop. Whether it’s 10 pages, single spaced, front and back – or 3 lines. What’s important is that you do it.

4.  The little things are the big things. Small details make love letters super personal and intimate and will make your loved one feel like you see and know them, and they’ll love you for it. One of my favorite love letters from The Best Husband Ever is a card he gave me out of the blue, and sounds just like something he’d say. It’s not lyrically beautiful, or filled with prose and reasons why he loves me, but it’s so much him that I love it.

My husband’s idea of a love letter.

5.  Don’t get hung up on how it looks. Love letters don’t have to be on fancy paper or be written in a beautifully scripted hand. Little drawings or notes on scraps of paper are great for love letters.
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There are a ton of on-line resources for writing prompts, “open when” letters, and books on how to write love letters.  Samara O’Shea has written a great book called, For The Love Of Letters, you can find it here on Amazon. She talks about how to write love letters, break up letters, apology letters. One of the things she suggests on writing love letters is to follow a past/present/future format:

Past: Write about when you first met, the moment you fell in love, or a certain time when your love was deepened.

Present: Write about the little things you like about them that you see every day.  Maybe you love the way they brush their hand across your back every time you pass, or their sleepy eyes.  My husband loves my morning hair – he calls it my “Rock Star Hair.” He loves it and I love him for always smiling (but not laughing) at me when I first get up in the morning.

Future: Write about what you’re looking forward to and things that you want to accomplish together. Are you planning a trip? Are you looking for your first house? This will let your loved one know that you’re here and in it for the long haul.

So this week, my reader, I ask that instead of posting something that will polarize and only spread anger, share love.  Write a love letter. Write a note to a trusted friend, send a card to someone far away telling them you’re thinking of them, or write a letter to your lover telling them how much you love and appreciate them. It’s not important how you do it, the important thing is that you do it.

My words are my thoughts, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale) or Twitter (@write2unpack). Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!

My friend Keesha is a lover. She loves her boyfriend, she loves her family and her kids (biological and the ones she works with), and she loves her friends.  Once she loves you she doesn’t give just part of herself. If you are Keesha’s friend then you have all of her.  So, of course, it made sense for someone so full of love to say, “You should write a blog on the lost art of writing love letters!”  Great idea, and so this week’s inspiration came to me in the form of a lovely friend and the gift of a book written in 1892.

In today’s world of technology and social media (texting, twitter, facebook, tumblr – I could go on…), we’ve lost the desire to actually put pen to paper and communicate with others.  Think about it, when was the last time you actually wrote a letter and put a stamp on an envelope? Let’s talk about “why” we should write (love) letters…

1. Letters are more personal than e-mails or text messages, simply because they’re handwritten. When you actually write a letter it’s in your handwriting – no one else has your handwriting, but everyone with a computer has Times New Roman, Book Antiqua (my fav), and Lucinda Handwriting.

2.  Letters can be kept and re-read. Whether it’s a love letter to your long-distance boyfriend, or words of encouragement to a friend. A handwritten letter can be kept in a box, a drawer, or even a purse and re-read at any time. It’s a piece of you they can hold on to, and remind them you care when you’re not able to be with them.

3.  Letters cannot be debated. During text exchanges, or even face-to-face conversations, often one person is simply waiting for the other to finish so they can begin speaking.  Letters force us to slow down, to think through our thoughts, and reason with ourselves before shooting off a response so we can be “right” first.

4.  Letters force you to speak slowly. With all the technology we have immediately available we’ve grown accustomed to sending off quick messages and expecting an instant response. When you write a letter you give someone the gift of your time, speaking slowly and thoughtfully responding to a situation they’re working through, and you give them the gift of time to respond without the stress of immediate response.

5.  Letters can ease pain and build relationships. A handwritten apology over a mistake or a misunderstanding can soften someone’s anger, and a handwritten note over a loss someone is feeling can give them the little bit of strength they need to get through.  A love note to a distant lover can strengthen the relationship – reminding them that you’re there, you care, and you’re thinking of them.
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Love letters can be written to your boyfriend/spouse/friend. It’s inexpensive to buy a card, write a quick note in there, drop a stamp on it and send it to your friend.  I received a card in the mail the other day from a friend.  It wasn’t anything other than a “hey, I’m glad we’re friends” kind of note, but it reached me at just the right time and meant the world. Sending a love letter to your spouse reminds them you still love them, they still delight you, you think of them often and fondly, and can deepen and intensify your relationship. Or, in the case of Meghan Trainor, you can write a Dear Future Husband letter and lay out your list of wants and needs. (Guys, tell me how great it would be to have this list from your future wife!)

Love letters can be written to your kids.  Last year during the school year I wrote notes to my boys every morning as I was getting ready for work.  I leave my house at about 5:40 a.m. every morning (waaaaaaaaay before they get up), and wrote notes to them wishing them a good day, reminding them to choose positive attitudes, and encouraging them or praising them for a school project – and always to tell them I loved them before they head out to school. I didn’t realize at first how much they loved my little notes until I forgot one day.  The second I walked in the door I was approached with, “Mom, you forgot to write us a note today.”  I didn’t appreciate how impactful that handwritten bit of my time was, and how much love and encouragement it offered. I do now.

Love letters can be written to the dead.  There’s a Young Adult novel written by Ava Dellaria, called Love Letters to the Dead. (Check it out here.) It’s about a class assignment to write a letter to a dead person. The main character chose to write to Kurt Cobain because her sister loved him and he died young – like her sister.  What a great way to process grief. We’ve all suffered loss: a close family member, a friend, a loved one. My grandpa passed 20 years ago this October. I still miss him and think of him all the time. It’s his voice I hear when I need advice about any particular situation. I wonder what words would come out if I wrote him a letter today? My friend Steve passed 4 years ago this August.  I think he knows, but I should write him a letter telling him how much our conversations about “nothing” meant to me.

So this week, my reader, I challenge you to write one letter a week for the next month.  Buy a card, pick up some stationary and stamps, put pen to paper and send a letter.  It’s easy, remember having a pen-pal when you were in Elementary School? Just talk about your day, or a funny story you remember, or surprise your lover with a sexy note.  Let’s bring back the art of writing letters!

My words are my thoughts, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale) or Twitter (@write2unpack). Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!