Category Archives: Write2Unpack

The game was a massacre. My 10 year old loves soccer and, next to training to be the next American Ninja Warrior, soccer is his favorite sport. Ahren is a perfectionist and believes that he should be the best at everything – including soccer.  Well, he’s not.  He’s a crazy-good athlete and super competitive, but his team was beat 21-1 last night.

Another thing he’s not the best at is losing. He was upset and crying because they didn’t win and were beaten so badly.  Now, I’m all for winning – winning is good, but sometimes you lose and your attitude when you lose says more about you than your attitude when you win.  We had a conversation in the car on the way to dinner and it struck me how soccer can teach my son things he needs to learn to be successful in life. And so this week’s blog post was born!

1.  You can’t choose what other players do or how they play, but you can choose what you do and how you play. Ahren was upset that they didn’t win, but he had no control over how the other team played.  We talked about how since he couldn’t control the other team it was really a waste of time worrying about that, and what he needed to focus on what how he was playing and do the absolute best he could. We can’t control what other people do, what we can control is ourselves. Focus on that.

2.  Your attitude affects more than just you. He was upset they were losing so badly and had a bad attitude about it. His bad attitude then affected the other players, and the coach had to stop watching the game and coaching the players to talk to him and bolster him up.  We talked in the car about how attitudes are infectious and how when he was having a bad attitude it infected his teammates and then his coach.  Bad attitudes spread, but so do good ones. Next time he promised he’d be infected with a good attitude so everyone would “catch” the good.

3.  Soccer is a team sport. In soccer each player depends on the other player to be in their position, to help them out when they’re fighting for the ball, and to support and encourage them. We need that in life too. We count on our friends and families to be there when we need them, to help us out when we’re fighting whatever battle comes up, and for love and support. Ahren needed to remember to do the same. He was so wrapped up in his sadness at losing that he dropped out of position and wasn’t there to cheer his teammates for a good pass or for a great kick. We talked about how if everyone did that the team wouldn’t work. We rely on our friends and families, and they rely on us.
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4.  Sometimes the coach puts you in a position that is not your favorite – it’s important to play your best and hardest in whatever position you’re in. Ahren started the game as a defender, but prefers to play as mid-fielder so he runs more and is both offense and defense. His team was really fighting hard against the opposing team, and Ahren is such a strong player the coach wanted him on defense. We talked about how sometimes you’re put where you’re needed even though it may not be your favorite, and how important it is to play hard where ever you are. In life sometimes we find ourselves in situations we don’t like. It’s important to be our best self and fight hard where we are.

5.  Don’t get so caught up in what’s going wrong that you can’t see how amazing you really are. Ahren was so upset that he wasn’t able to steal the ball as much as normal, that he wasn’t getting passed to as much, and that he couldn’t shoot on the goal like he usually does. What he didn’t see was that he was the fastest player out there. That kid can hustle, and when chasing a the ball he would catch up to and pass the other players, but he was too upset at how the game was going he missed how incredible he was playing. Bad things happen every day. Don’t get so wrapped up in the bad that you miss the good.

This week, my reader, I challenge you to take the lessons my 10 year old son learned from soccer and apply them to your life. Realize that life is a team sport, and it’s important for us to be the one who can be counted on for defense, or support, when the world gets tough on our teammates.

The New Girl started on Monday. In this Week One of training, I’ve been extra conscious about office irritations, courtesies, etc.  It’s a really small office and we basically sit next to or on top of each other. This got me to thinking about things that annoy me or are just general pet peeves.  Apparently I have a lot, my blog post started getting out of control, so I limited myself to just my top seven. (What? Anyone can do a Top 10…)

1.  People who drive with their blinker on. Maybe this one is actually useful.  It’s like a bright flashing sign saying “I’m an inattentive driver! Watch out for me!” I should clue my older kids in on this one so they can be on the look-out.

2.  People who slow down to go through an intersection.  Yes, another driving one.  On the highway between my home and my work the speed limit is 60 mph… even in the middle of the intersection. If the light is green and you’ve a clear road ahead please feel free to go the speed limit the entire time.  Wait, maybe I should consider that a warning as well.

3. Mispronounced words: “Lie-berry” “Tempachure” “Brito” “Warshington.”  Seriously. If you have a speech impediment I get it.  My youngest son battles the “er” sound like no other sound known to man. Everyone else should say the words correctly.

Me: “Aidan, would you please get the Parmesan (Parm-ah-san) cheese out of the fridge?

Aidan: “Is that next to the Parmesan (Parm-a-shon) cheese .

(Yes, he has his mother’s sense of humor)

Me: “How do you spell that?”

<Silence…>

4. Incorrectly used words.  Ok, I get it.  Words are my friends and I’ve pulled the I’m-a-writer-I-can-make-up-words card. That’s because I am a writer, and my words are actually words that mean what they’re supposed to and not an abomination of a perfectly good word used incorrectly. (For example: if I were to say it was “blizzarding” outside you would know exactly what the weather was like).

• “Irregardless.” Not a word.  “Regardless” is a word. “Irregardless” – if it had a meaning, would be the negative of “regardless” which would actually mean “regarding.”
•  “I could care less.” This means that you do care. If you didn’t care then you couldn’t care less (because you would have no care in you to start with – get it?).

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5.  Cell phones at the table. If I am not worthy of your attention and conversation then we should not be having lunch/dinner/drinks.

6.  Fruit flies in my wine. For real.  The little buggers are tricky and will find their way into my wine glass, drown, and make my wine smell and taste bad.  I have to wonder if it’s like the lemmings and they’re seeking certain death. They’re certainly motivated.

7. Mean people.  Last but not least, mean people are my biggest pet peeve.  My daughter-in-law recently posted a video on Facebook that was a lesson about a little boy who kept losing his temper. His dad had him pound a nail into a log every time he lost his temper. Eventually he learned to control his temper, and every time he kept his temper he got to take a nail out of the wood. Soon all the nails were out and the little boy was quite pleased with himself. Then his father asked him to look at the wood, to look at all the damage, the holes that were still there even though the nails were not.  That was a lesson I shared with my youngest son. This is what happens when we lose our temper and say mean things.  It hurts and leaves a mark, even though we may say “sorry,” it doesn’t make the “holes” go away.

My thoughts to you this week? Having pet peeves is ok – it makes you human, but there’s no need to be a jerk about things that irritate us. Usually it’s just a matter of being like Elsa in Frozen and letting it go, but if it’s a bigger issue then deal with it like an adult.  Have a conversation, speak with kindness, and try to resolve it.

Tell me about your pet peeves. What drives you nuts? Bad drivers? (I’m a firm believer that I’m the only good driver out there: anyone faster than me is a maniac and anyone slower than me is an idiot). When someone texts you, you answer them, and then they don’t respond for hours? What just makes you shake your head?

My thoughts are my own, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale), Instagram (write2unpack), or Twitter (@write2unpack). Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!

Sometimes life just pivots. Ok, so this has really been more of a slow turn I’ve seen coming for a while, but it’s a big turn – so I’m calling it a pivot.

The Best Husband Ever has MS.  It’s been progressing fairly steadily for a while, and now it has taken a large portion of his coordination and seriously impacts his ability to walk – especially in the afternoon.  The fatigue from fighting to make his body do something as simple as walking overcomes him in the afternoon. I feel the need to be home more, to make sure he doesn’t fall and hurt himself (or others), and to be a parent to my children when they get home from school and he needs to nap so he can be up for dinner.

How do you do that when working 40 hours a week as a paralegal for a busy attorney at his sole practitioner firm? You can’t.  Well… I can’t.

With the support of The Best Boss Ever and my fabulous co-worker, I’m reducing my hours to 20 hours per week, dropping the family law portion of the practice, but keeping the civil litigation portion (personal injury, wrongful death, medical malpractice, etc.) We’ve hired a new girl who seems super smart, super nice, and has a sense of humor that should fit right into our little group. She’ll shadow me for the next 2 weeks and then she’ll take over family law full-time.

I’ll be at work 20 hours per week, and then home to work on my writing business (Yay! You can read more of me!) and to help my husband develop his CBD Oil business.  I’m still querying agents and editors about my manuscript, but am also looking for freelance writing jobs to help fill in the missing income.

Now, this change isn’t really ideal. Ideally I’d have a healthy husband, an ample savings account, a housekeeper, and a beautiful chalet somewhere super inspiring and oodles of time to just sit and write about love, sex, and romance – but that’s not what The Universe has chosen for me. Since I’m going to take this pivot and create something better than before, I thought that should be today’s post: The right way (“write” way… get it?) to survive a life pivot.

Of all the on-line posts and articles I’ve read about surviving a career change, the following points resonated the most:

1.  Have an open mind.  What is it that calls to you? What opportunities are presenting themselves to you? It’s difficult during a time of transition to get out of your own head, but look up and around. Pay attention to what’s coming to you and investigate it. It might just be the next best thing to happen to you.

2.  Remember when you succeed and forget when you fail. I’m not saying you shouldn’t learn from failure – you should, and then move on.  Don’t dwell on failure. Remember the times and the things that help you succeed and focus on those.
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3.  Be willing to learn. Whether you’re starting out on a brand new adventure, or finally doing what you’ve-been-doing-all-along-just-not-for-real, realize there’s always something to learn. New lingo, how to research more efficiently, or why the honey bees are disappearing – be willing to get out there and learn what you need to in order to succeed.

4.  Believe in yourself. You have something unique, something no one else can offer. Believe that you are succeeding and act as if you are already a winner. You are worth it and worthy of the goal you seek.

5.  Be ready/willing to change something. Even if your plan is carefully thought out, every possible outcome considered, every step mapped – be ready for the unexpected and don’t get stuck following your plan. Sometimes (a lot of times) things don’t work out like you’d planned or hoped. Be willing to allow your old plan to fall away and embrace “Plan B.”

Author and blogger Ian Sanders (Check out his blog here) wrote, “Sometimes it’s best to approach your career like a road trip: the random left turns and the interesting people you meet on the side of the road is where the magic happens.”

I intend to survive this change by continuing to cultivate my writing. I will write more, better, and in ways I haven’t previously done.  I will continue to produce excellent work product at my day job – helping others through emotionally trying times, and find other freelance jobs to fill in the gap until I find the agent/editor who “gets me” and picks up my book.  Despite this change – because of this change – I will be a better wife, mother, daughter, friend, and writer.

So this week, my reader, I’d like to know your tips.  What did you do when your life pivoted? What worked for you? What didn’t work? What advice do you have for someone else whose life is taking a turn? Find me on Facebook or leave me a comment below and share your knowledge!

My thoughts are my own, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale), Instagram (write2unpack), or Twitter (@write2unpack). Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!