Category Archives: Write2Unpack

Last week I met a man who smelled like my childhood.

When I was a girl it wasn’t uncommon for me to get up in the morning, pack a lunch for me and the dog, head out into our 33.3 heavily forested acres that was bordered by a bajillion Weyerhaeuser acres, and spend the entire day in the woods. We spent the days in another world. With nobody, literally no one, around us but the trees and underbrush, we went on quests, built forts out of tree limbs and moss, and had amazing adventures.

One place in all the acreage was my favorite – an old cedar stump that had been hollowed out by years of Western Washington weather. I’m sure if I saw it today it would be much smaller, but to a girl of 8 it seemed like the stump was 15 feet high and about 10 feet across. It had a live giant that had split out of the bottom, so the union between the live cedar and the stump made a nice “V” to help me climb up and then down into the stump. Years of rain and dampness had not only hollowed out the middle, but washed out a spot near the bottom that was just big enough for an 8 year old girl or her 10 year old brother to belly-scoot out.

When I slid down the inside it was just me and the tree. I used to think the cedar tree did that just for me. ½ of it was taken by loggers, and the other ½ grew so I could use it as my favorite spot. I was safe and protected from all the wild animals and nothing could get me – except maybe a little rain.

That’s what he smelled like.  He smelled like clean earth, warm cedar, and fresh, round air.

That’s a Trillium at the bottom of a gigantic red cedar. They were all over in the forest where I grew up.

Everyone who knows me knows I’m a hugger, so when we hugged our hellos I almost held onto him for a moment too long (Don’t worry, it was a very appropriate and “chaste” hug).  I don’t know what kind of soap/cologne/whatever he was wearing, but I was instantly taken back to that memory of the center of the cedar tree. It  caught me by surprise and I wanted to remember it more. (It’s not weird to smell someone you just met, is it?)  The smell of the cedar, the feeling of “ok-ness”, and the reminder to breathe deeply.  And so this week’s blog post was inspired by a smell and a childhood memory.

We’ve already talked about the Intoxication of Scent (check it out here if you missed it!), and it’s no secret that smells can affect mood or even work performance.  Smells can also bring back a long forgotten memory.  Science tells us that the part of the brain that processes smells (olfactory bulb) is so closely associated with the system that processes memories and feelings that it’s sometimes referred to as the “emotional brain.” That system wouldn’t work unless we had already associated a memory with a smell, which we typically do the first time we smell a new smell – and also why a lot of smells remind us of childhood.

My reminder this week was to breathe, so I thought I’d share some ways to help de-stress:

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1. Breathe. That’s right. I’m starting with this one because that’s what my lesson was this week.  Any yogi will tell you that breath (pranayama) is the life force of a person, and Western medicine doesn’t disagree.  Deep breaths release tension, reduce blood pressure, and make your body feel like it does when it’s already relaxed.
2. Visualize. A quick visualization is an easy way to help you get centered. Do you have a favorite place (like the bottom of a hollowed out cedar tree) that makes you happy? Somewhere you discovered on vacation? A sunny beach? Take a few minutes and picture yourself there and feel your body instantly relax.
3. Practice yoga. I’m not saying to break out into a sun salute sequence when you’re stressed out, but certain poses are designed to help alleviate stress. Take Eagle Pose, for example: just the arm positioning is great for relieving neck and shoulder tightness. (Learn to do it here) Definitely a plus for someone like me who sits at a computer all day and holds stress in her shoulders.  Try it out!
4. Turn off your phone. Especially if it’s a smart phone.  Put your phone down and don’t look at social media, don’t text, unplug from the world and all outside stresses. Try it for 10 minutes (she says to her daughter with a wink) and see if you can work up to 30.
5. Kiss your lover. Science shows that kissing releases endorphins, and endorphins make us feel good. Feeling good helps us feel less stress. Besides, it’s kissing… take a moment and give a little love to your lover and make them feel good too!

After meeting my new friend, visiting for a bit, then hugging our good-byes, I drove out to Lake Wenatchee where my family was camping.  His smell lingered on my scarf, and as I drove through the amazing fall colors of the Chumstick, my mind was still back in my hometown – at my childhood home, out in the woods, at the bottom of a cedar tree.  The smell is long-gone, but that memory is still in the front of my brain, and it’s an important reminder.

This week, my reader, I challenge you to breathe.  Take 10 minutes and re-center and de-stress.  Find your “happy place” and visit it for a few minutes, kiss your sweetheart, breathe deeply, know that everything is “ok” and will work out.

I’d love to hear about any favorite childhood memories that are associated with a certain smell.  Grandma’s “old rose” perfume that was always in her sewing room, mom’s cooking, what sparks your memories?

My thoughts are my own, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale), Instagram (write2unpack), or Twitter (@write2unpack). If you have any topics you think I should talk about, reach out to me at write2unpack@gmail.com. Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!

That sound. The sound that makes your heart stop and your entire body instantly cold. It’s the sound your child makes when he’s hurt – really hurt.

Sunday started like any other Sunday at my house. We got up, had some coffee, watched the Seahawks beat the Jets, sliced a bunch of apples for the dehydrator, and The Best Husband Ever and I were sitting on the deck planning the meals for the week when I heard it. It took less than a second for that heart stopping-body cold feeling to register. I jumped up and ran towards the sound and saw my 10 year old screaming and running towards me holding his arm – his arm was bent in a very wrong way.

The boys had been playing football in the yard when Ahren fell and landed on a root from the big tree on the corner of the lawn. My son doesn’t do anything half-way, and breaking his arm is no different. His particular type of break is called a “Colles fracture” or a “silver fork fracture” because of the way the bones break and are displaced. I’ll spare you the grossness of his arm bending the wrong way, but here’s something to give you an idea of what his arm looked like:

This happened about 4:00 p.m., and by 8:00 he was heading in for surgery to straighten and pin the bones. We all drove in one car to the hospital, but I still had another son who wasn’t broken and who needed to go home because he had school tomorrow. The Most Wonderful Sister-in-Law came to our rescue. She brought in “Puppy” (his brother gave him Puppy when he was about 2) and picked up The Best Husband Ever and my unbroken son to take them home. I stayed in the room and waited for Ahren to come back from surgery. He returned groggy and the manner-filled little boy all moms hope their sons are when they’re not around.

Groggy Ahren and Puppy.

I spent the night with him to help him when he had to pee, or to make sure his arm stayed propped up, or, honestly, just to look at him to make sure he really was ok (he was). As I laid there on the pull out couch/bed they have in the room I thought about all the other parents who have laid on that bed – worrying about their children, some of them infants or toddlers who were sick or broken in ways that were much more serious. I thought about how many nights of tossing and turning that couch has endured. It made me feel grateful that Ahren only had a broken arm, and would be better with a little surgical intervention and the passage of time. And so this week’s inspiration found me – how to be grateful in difficult times.

It’s easy to be grateful when things are going well, but when things are bad it’s harder to remind ourselves to be grateful. Let’s talk about 3 ways that will help us to be grateful even when times are difficult.

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2.  Remember the bad. This probably isn’t the only bad thing that has happened to you. Remember another time something bad happened and remember that you are here, now, and you made it through. Breathe.

3.  Look around you. When we’re in a tough situation it’s easy to focus only on that bad thing that is happening to us. Take a moment and look around at people and situations that surround you. Acknowledge the nurse who took an extra moment to adjust your son’s pillows so that his arm was not only elevated, but more comfortable. Appreciate that there actually is a small couch/bed in the room to “sleep” on during the night. See that there are people and things in your day that are not bad, and allow yourself to be grateful for the small kindnesses that are present.

So this week, my reader, I encourage you to practice gratitude. Be aware of others around you and their kindness or their struggles, and remind yourself to be grateful.

This week I’m grateful for the love of The Best Husband Ever, the support of My Wonderful Sister-in-Law, the doctor who reassured not only my injured son, but his worried big brother as well; the anesthesiologist who is funny and kind and makes sure a scared little boy is soothed even before he puts him to sleep; and for nurses who take the extra moment to make sure their patients and worried moms are as comfortable as possible.

Oh, and for having my Healing Son sit with me at the table doing homework while I write and look at my garden. Life is pretty ok.

I love the colors in my garden. Oh, and the Lone Tomato. She’s pretty cool.

My thoughts are my own, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale), Instagram (write2unpack), or Twitter (@write2unpack). If you have any topics you think I should talk about, reach out to me at write2unpack@gmail.com. Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!

The next new moon is in 2 days. Yes. I admit I’m one of “those” people.  I sincerely believe the moon cycle affects people.  If you look online you can find tons of articles that agree, and tons of articles that tell you there is no actual link.  My belief is not based on scientific studies, just life experience. If you ask any ER nurse, law enforcement officer, or food server anywhere I bet they’d tell you the same thing. My friend and I try to “set our intentions” at each new moon.  What that means is for the next 28+ days we focus on improving a specific aspect of ourselves or our lives. Some months that’s been to be more present at home, or to make time to exercise at least 3 times per week, or to be more attentive as a wife.

We started doing this a year or so ago. We were walking together and I was talking about how I felt like a failure at work, at home, as a wife and mother… you know, the weight of the world is heavier sometimes and it was feeling pretty overwhelming.  She felt the same and we decided that instead of trying to fix everything at once we’d just work on one thing at a time.

It seemed like a good idea to have a time frame that we would work on this “one thing,” and it was a full moon, so we decided to focus on our good intentions until the next full moon. We later changed to the new moon, because that felt like more of a beginning, but setting our good intentions for a set time frame made them actually seem possible.

That’s the sparkly bit that found me this week. The impending new moon and a conversation about what our intentions are going to be this month got me to thinking about good intentions.

I know, “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.” Right? Sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t, and sometimes they work just a little bit.  Working to make yourself a better person and your life a little better, is never a wasted effort, so I thought we could talk about ways to help our good intentions be a success.

1.  Don’t take on too much. The goal is for a small change. Small changes make big changes – so says my running coach, and I agree. Set a goal that is achievable in one month. Maybe that’s flossing regularly, or practicing patience with your kids. Pick one small change that you can work on for a month. If it works you can keep doing it, if it doesn’t you can change next month.

2.  Be accountable. My friend and I talk about and share our intentions. We are each other’s support system and accountability measure. If you’re the only person who knows about your goals it’s easier to fold and revert back to old behaviors. The goal is to make a positive change for a month. Tell your friends, or your family, what your goals are and allow them to encourage you and to hold you accountable for your success – either for making the change or simply trying.
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3.  Remember why you’re doing it. Over the next few weeks be sure to remind yourself why you’ve started this new habit. If it’s exercise your reward could be to be to drop a few pounds or just improve your health. On those days when it’s toughest to hold to our good intentions it’s important to remember the reward that’s waiting for us.

4.  Enjoy the change. While you’re working on your good intention it’s important to enjoy what you’re doing. For me this was using my “yoga voice” with my children instead of raising my voice. I enjoyed seeing them roll their eyes at me when I asked them for the eight-thousandth time to put their shoes on the shoe rack, in the same voice as my yoga instructor when she tells me to “feel the strength of the earth” beneath me.  Maybe that’s not the best form of enjoyment, I’ve never claimed to be mom-of-the-year, but I’m able to speak more calmly to my children and the entire house is benefitting from it.

5.  One small slip isn’t the end of the world. Nobody’s perfect. Just because you gave in and didn’t get up one day to go to the gym, doesn’t mean you can’t give yourself credit for all the other days you did. You can look at why you slipped and fix it so you can succeed tomorrow. A small failure doesn’t mean that you haven’t made progress and you weren’t overall successful.

My intentions for this month? With my change in work schedule the focus for me is my home. I am going to focus on “getting my house in order” and on being a better mom. Clearing the clutter and getting ready for Fall/Winter, and having more patience with my young sons who know exactly… what… button… to push.

It’s a new moon and a new chance to make a positive change. That’s my challenge to you: pick something to focus on for the next month. Something that will make you a better person, make your life a little better, and by default, the lives of those around you a little better too.

My thoughts are my own, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale), Instagram (write2unpack), or Twitter (@write2unpack). Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!