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So here we are, you and I, a brand new year spiraling up from the ending of the last. It was 3° this morning at my house and as per usual I have a million things swirling around in my brain: camping in the cold this weekend, wishing I was back in Hawaii camping in Hana, the best way to stay warm… but, the draw of the new year is too strong to resist and I keep coming back to that – new beginnings.

I typed in “new beginnings” on my search engine and the top results were: an adoption facility, two drug and alcohol rehab centers, and an LDS (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) site for their program for young women to help guide them in their faith and spirituality.

Perfect! Those are great things to help us in our year of new beginnings!

1. Adoption facility. Adoptions are about families growing together or being created with love. One of my focuses this year is to be a better wife and mom. I want to strengthen my bond with all of my children, and my husband, and grow our families with love.

Some families are created. I have a special group of friends I call my “chosen family.” The adoption site is a good reminder that families are not always bonded by blood, some are bonded by choice. This doesn’t make them less important, and I need to remember to reinforce those ties with love too.

2. Drug and alcohol rehab/detox centers. Ok, this one should be obvious. New years are a time for resolutions. Whether it’s to cut back on drinking, lose a few (or 25) pounds, or to eat more healthy, these sites are a reminder that you CAN do it. Sometimes we fail, sometimes we need others to help us (did I mention I’m in an accountability group?), and sometimes we need to find others like us in order to know we’re not alone and who will help us succeed.

Need inspiration? Find inspiration in the lotus flower.  Arguably one of the most beautiful flowers, the lotus flower grows up through dark and muddy waters, finds the light and blooms. Rise above the dark and bloom!
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3. LDS program for young women. We are all spiritual beings. It doesn’t matter if you’re Mormon, Catholic, Scientologist, Muslim, or Wiccan. This site is a good reminder to nurture that side of you as well. Don’t get so caught up in physical things that you neglect your spirituality. Take time for yourself to investigate your faith, strengthen your relationship with God, Allah, or nature… whatever you believe in – take some time to reinforce that bond and make yourself more well-rounded – more whole.

It’s also reminder that we should be good role models, not just for our children, but for others as well.  Be kind, be thoughtful, be loving and teach others to be the same. I’ve never learned so much about any particular thing than when I was teaching another about it.

Is it coincidence that today’s post about perseverance (in love, health, and spirituality) was inspired by the persistence of the new year? Nah, I don’t believe in it. This week, my reader, I encourage you to take the lessons of “new beginnings” to heart: Love and grow your families, make healthy choices, and explore your faith. Feel free to drop me a line and share your successes, struggles, or lessons!

My thoughts are my own, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale), Instagram (write2unpack), or Twitter (@write2unpack). If you have any topics you’d like to talk about, reach out to me at write2unpack@gmail.com. Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!

This is it, blog post #91 and the last post of 2016. Maybe it’s the winter solstice, the long nights, or the cold weather, but I’ve been spending a lot of time reflecting on the last year. I took an amazing trip to Hawaii and camped with my husband and two youngest sons in Hana, I stay-cationed the heck out of our deck and backyard pool, and went on an incredible trip to New Orleans with some wonderful friends. There also were some not so great things, things I want to change or make better in 2017, and that’s the inspiration for today’s post.

In my accountability group we were to list 5-7 things we want to focus on in the next 12 months.  Mine were:

1. Mother & wife
2. Family & chosen family
3. Finances
4. Enterpreneur
5. Household
6. Fitness
7. Enjoy life

Then we were to write a short, specific sentence about what those goals were. Mine are:

1. Mother & wife: Continue family dinner Wednesdays and make a point to do something individual with each child and The Best Husband Ever at least once per month.
2. Family & chosen family: For those of you who don’t know, my chosen family are those people who aren’t bonded to me with blood, we’re bonded with love. I will send “thinking of you” cards, or texts, or phone calls once per month.
3. Finances: Create a monthly budget – and stick to it.
4. Enterpreneur: I want to make at least $2,000 per month by writing or other businesses to make up for my decrease in wages.
5. Household: Spend at least 1 hour per week or 7 hours total each week on my grounds/gardens, and 30 minutes each day or 3.5 hours total each week on animals. I will even combine these so that when I’m outside working I will throw the ball for the Labrador With Never Ending Energy.

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6. Fitness: I will exercise at least 12 days per month and drink at least 80 ounces of water daily.
7. Enjoy life: I will read at least 4 hours weach week, plan movie/game night, chaperone scout camp and cold toes (winter scout camp), plan stay-cations with TBHE, and plan Worldmark trips for us as a couple and us as a family.

For the sake of brevity I didn’t write down all the specifics, but you get the idea.

Now it’s time to focus on being successful at keeping my resolutions. I know there are a bunch of ways to increase my chances of success, and for me the main one is going to be setting realistic goals for myself. For example: “Fitness” doesn’t have to mean finally running that half-marathon I’ve been trying to train for over the last four years, it can mean exercising 12 days per month – and exercise can mean elliptical, yoga, hiking, running… even shoveling snow for 45 minutes.

As I look forward at what I want to prioritize this year, I also reflect back on 2016 and the things I don’t like: I don’t like the extra weight I can’t seem to shake, I don’t like the fact that my husband’s legs don’t work very well, I don’t like having a messy house and gardens that are all weedy. We all have things we don’t like, or aren’t working for us, and this year I’m going to use that dislike for the things I can’t control, and refocus it on the things I can control.

In order to be successful with my 2017 priorities I will need all the energy I have. I only have so much energy, and instead of giving my energy to anger and frustration for the things I can’t control, this year I resolve to take the words of Elsa to heart and just “Let it go.” This year I resolve to let go of the negative energy I spend on things I can’t control, and refocus that energy on the things I can.  I can’t control the fact my husband can’t walk more than a half-mile any more than he can (he can’t), and instead of being frustrated about it, I’m going to refocus my energy on the things we can do and find new things to enjoy together.

This week, my reader, I invite you to reflect back on 2016 and think about what worked, and what didn’t.  Think of the things you didn’t like, and what ones you actually have control over. Write down 5-7 things you want to prioritize next year. Then write a short, specific sentence about what that goal is and how you’re going to do it. Lastly, but perhaps most importantly, I invite you let go of the stress over things you can’t control, and give your energy to the things you can.

My thoughts are my own, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale), Instagram (write2unpack), or Twitter (@write2unpack). If you have any topics you think I should talk about, reach out to me at write2unpack@gmail.com. Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!

I was driving my 12 year old to jazz band and the song “Heathens,” by 21 Pilots came on the radio. My son asks me, “Mom, what’s a heathen?” It’s a pretty cool song, (check it out here) and a little creepy, but I had a hard time answering the question.  That got me to thinking about heathens, pagans, and of course, today’s winter solstice.

Today is the shortest day, and longest night, of the year.  If you do a quick search on the internet about the winter solstice you will find all sorts of articles about people gathering at Stonehenge. Stonehenge is believed to have been constructed approximately 300 B.C. on England’s Salisbury Plain, and people travel from all over the world to see the giant stone pillars erected in a circle. It’s one of the places on my Bucket List too.  I’m not sure when I’ll get to see it, but I plan on making the trip.

So what does the winter solstice have to do with Stonehenge? Stonehenge is directly aligned with the sunset on the winter solstice. This could mean that it was designed around the earth’s solstices and equinoxes – a sort of calendar or way to track the passage of time for the Druids.

When I started looking at the winter solstice, I found an amazing amount of information that link directly some things we do today and ancient practices. For example:

Everyone knows the earth is tilted and as it rotates around the sun (as we journey through our year), the amount of sun either increases or decreases due to that tilt and the earth’s location on its orbit – that’s why we have seasons. The earth has major latitude lines (the ones that run lateral, or sideways, around the earth), like the equator – it’s at 0° latitude.  Here’s a quick picture for easy reference.

One of the major latitude lines is the Tropic of Capricorn. During the winter solstice the sun is directly over head of the Tropic of Capricorn. December 21 is also the day in the zodiac when the sun moves from the fiery sign of Scorpio into the earthly (stable) sign of Capricorn. The winter solstice is the longest night of the year. Some believed the veil between the worlds was at its thinnest during this long night, and if they spent the night in meditation and reflection they would gain insight into their future.  I’m sure this is the time many of us reflect back on the past year and plan for the new one.

In ancient times, the winter solstice was the day of the last big feast before food got scarce. They would slaughter animals so they didn’t need to feed them through the winter, and the wine and mead they made previously was finally ready to drink. This is also the time of year when we gather with friends and family and have big feasts, Thanksgiving, Christmas, or just family dinners.  It’s the time of year we gather our loved ones around us and serve filling and warming foods.

The winter solstice is significant, observed and practiced in almost every culture in the world. Remember December 21, 2012? The Mayan calendar ended on that date and many people believed that the world would also end. Obviously that didn’t happen!
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Back to Stonehenge and the Druids.  Druids are pagans. Pagans don’t believe in the Christian God, but neither do heathens, so what’s the difference? I looked up the definition for both and here’s what I found:

“Pagans: a person holding religious beliefs other than those of the main world religion.”

“Heathens: a person who does not belong to a widely held religion (especially one who is not a Christian, Jew, or Muslim) as regarded by those who do.”

Not really different, and still didn’t answer my question. I did more poking around the internet and finally came up with: the main difference between pagans and heathens is that pagans seem to believe in more nature-based gods. Wiccans, a religious cult of modern witchcraft with beliefs rooted in nature, are considered pagans and not heathens.

People get all sorts of weirded out about that word, “pagan.” They envision cloaked figures standing around a bon fire, ritualisticly tossing in babies to appease the gods. Honestly, what first came to my mind were Wiccans and cloaks, but then I did a little research.  The word “pagan” is derived from the Latin “paganus” meaning “villager, rustic”. In ancient times, as now, people in the more metro areas would have first access to all the newest and greatest tools, education, and religions. They would look down at the rural villagers who were poor, dirty and didn’t have the tools and knowledge they did. When a new religion would emerge, the metro people would have this great new set of beliefs, and the villagers (pagans) would have the old, different ones. That’s really not scary.

Aren’t we supposed to embrace everyone, even those who believe differently than we do? And if a pagan is a person who holds a religious belief other than those of the main world religion, what would happen if the main world religion became Wiccan? Would the Catholics, Muslims and other Abrahamic religions then be considered pagan?

Regardless of your religious beliefs, this is a great time of year to gather your family around you, eat wonderful foods, and reflect back: think about what happened last year, what worked, what didn’t, and what you want to do differently next year.  This is it – the darkest, longest night of the year. So look on the bright side (literally): now we’re gaining sunlight every day!

My thoughts are my own, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale), Instagram (write2unpack), or Twitter (@write2unpack). If you have any topics you think I should talk about, reach out to me at write2unpack@gmail.com. Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!