Author Archives: Write2Unpack

Who’s Afraid of CBD Oil?

I love, and am incredibly frustrated by, Amazon. That massive corporation with the boxes that smile at you when you receive your free two-day shipping treasure.

Jeff and I have been trying to get our CBD Oil products on Amazon, and have been running into issue after issue. Just when we think we’ve jumped through the final hoop… BAM, back into issues. What’s frustrating is that it seems to be the same issue over and over – nobody really knows what CBD really is. They automatically assume it’s the dreaded, federally regulated, controlled substance THC. If THC is a supervillain, then CBD would be its Bizzaro twin superhero.  I’m not saying THC is bad (it’s not), but CBD, although similar, is different and free from many of the “negatives” of THC.

Back when we first started selling CBD I wrote about how CBD is different than THC. Sure, CBD is also found in marijuana plants, but the CBD oil we sell is from hemp. There’s no THC in it. We’ve been going in circles with Amazon, working with CV Sciences to get them what they need, and still haven’t gotten it figured out yet.

How I feel trying to make my way through Amazon’s web.

The world is weird about CBD. I get it. I was too until I looked into it a little bit. Once I started reading other people’s stories about how CBD has helped them, and seeing first-hand how it helps my husband, I truly believe that it’s a good thing.

It’s become clear to me that a great deal of customer service workers are from, or currently in, India. Now, I love the sound of their voices: the roundness of their words, the melodious curve of their sentences are almost hypnotic to me, and I find myself mesmerized by the dripping-water-quail-like tones.  Great if you want to meditate, not so great if you’re trying to understand why your CBD Oil balm isn’t available yet even though you’ve sent in everything and it’s been added to your inventory. I’ve worked with, Ankit K., Bhagavatula P., Preethi R. and now am working with Barby. Barby seems great, but also a little confused about why our product isn’t showing up as available.

Regardless, we’re still working with them and will hopefully have it available on Amazon soon.  Until then, however, you can still check out all our great products on our website: www.livingwithjeff.com
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Oh, hey, another fun thing: I have been “permanently limited” from using PayPal. Go ahead and take a guess why. When I was setting up my account I reviewed their Acceptable Use Policy and all the rules, etc. about what you can/cannot sell, and my CBD Oil products did not fall into any of their categories. It is not federally regulated (no THC, remember?), not a prescription, not a controlled substance, non-narcotic… truly. I read the rules and honestly believe our product is none of those things.

Paul in the Risk Management Department believes otherwise and now I’ve been banned from using PayPal. I did send an inquiry requesting the criteria of acceptable supplements, etc., but I’ve not yet received a reply. I understand if they don’t want to sell it or allow payments for CBD to flow through their company. Fine, whatever, just say that. I don’t like being told I broke the rules and am now banned. I’m happy to play by the rules – I just need to know what they are.

Anyway, all CBD oil product woes aside, Jeff is scheduled to start a new MS med in October – Ocrevus. This one is an infusion, newly approved by the FDA, and comes with all sorts of shiny promises. It’s been approved for treating Relapsing-Remitting MS (that’s what Jeff has), and also Primary Progressive MS (faster moving). There have even been reports that some people who start Ocrevus have regained some of their lost functions. It would be super if Jeff could regain some of his balance, coordination, or ability to walk. MS affects more than just those three things for him, but I’ll not bore you with the entirety of MS’s attack on my husband.

 

For now, in addition to writing your Congressmen about the unnecessary struggles Jeff and I are going through, I want to encourage you all to not jump to conclusions. Investigate for yourself before making a judgment. You might find a really great balm for your sore joints and muscles, or an oil or supplement that quiets your tremors and restless legs. Just because “someone told me” something doesn’t make it true. Think for yourself. Check things out. Then make your decision.

My thoughts are my own, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest or via Google. If what I write resonates with you please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! We’d love it if you follow us on Facebook (Melissa Gale or Living With Jeff), or Twitter (@livingwjeff or @write2unpack). If you have any topics you’d like to talk about, reach out to me at write2unpack@gmail.com, or Jeff at livingwithjeff61@gmail.com. Oh, hey, and if you sign up here to follow me you’ll never miss a post!

How to Write About Sex – Guest Post

Summer has been busily spinning out of control, and just when I was feeling super behind… BAM! My friend Elizabeth Stephens messages me with a guest post for my blog. Being the delightful, upfront, and candid kind of girl she is, she sent me a post on how to write about sex.  Thanks, Ellie, and thanks to The Universe for its timing. Today has now been freed up to work on my Erotic Tarot short stories. Stay tuned for more on that!

WARNING!!!

THIS POST CONTAINS EXPLICIT LANGUAGE

I write erotic-romance-sci-fi, and it doesn’t bother me to talk (or write) about body parts and the act of sex, but it makes some people squeamish. If you’re one of those people, stop reading now and nose through my archives for something a little less spicy.  (Here’s a post about a honey bee named Leon who loves the color purple)

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Boobs or tits? Cock or shaft? One author’s view on the mechanics of a good sex scene.

By Elizabeth Stephens

 

I’d like to preface by stating a few simple facts: I am an author of steamy romance, I have had sex before, and I do not claim to be an expert on either (as much as I’d like to believe otherwise). Now that that’s out of the way, let’s investigate what I think it takes to write a good sex scene.

Don’t rely on what you learned in your 7th grade Health class.

I read a book recently that was pretty decent. Sexy, possessive bikers and wanna-be-tough heroines woven into what began as a simple, but OK plot. Then we got to the first sex scene and oh boy. At the first mention of areolas, I smiled. At the second, I laughed. Labia, equally, threw me off. And by the time I found the first stiff cock, I was already giggling too much at the repeated mention of boobies to take the poor guy seriously.

Do use grown up vocabulary.

Ass, tit, dick, cock, pussy, clit. If you’ve ever seen Trainwreck, you’ll remember that opening scene where Amy Schumer asks her partner to talk dirty to her. When you’re at your hottest, just think, which would you rather someone whisper in your ear? “I wanna fuck your vagina,” or “I wanna fuck your pussy.” “Let me lick your labia,” or “Let me lick your clit.” Anatomical descriptions never win.

Don’t overuse your favorite vocabulary.

This to me is the hardest bit. You’ve already mentioned his cock and his dick in the same paragraph but the sex isn’t over yet. So then you find yourself moving into your second tier vocab. ‘His thick shaft,’ ‘his hardened length,’ ‘his pulsing manhood.’ This gets us into the whole world of adjectives.
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Do use adjectives – but use them sparingly.

When too many things start throbbing the whole scene starts to get ugly. Adjectives can be very useful in describing your second tier vocabulary. If you just said ‘length’ your reader might double take to understand what you’re talking about. Adjectives help pump life into a story, but can just as easily confuse paragraphs by creating redundancy. “Her dripping pussy was wet” is not as good as “Her pussy was wet” and, “Her dripping pussy was ready for him” might not be as good as “Her pussy was wet and ready for him.” As is the case with all my writing, I try as much as possible to abide by the rule of KISS – Keep It Simple Stupid.

Don’t forget that what happens is not as important as how it feels.

You’ve got limbs moving and bodies thrusting, but describing how her leg lifted to move your couple into a different position is not as important as how his hand felt on the inside of her thigh, or how her skin tasted when he kissed the back of her neck. Don’t get so bogged down in the physical motions you forget about those sensory details.

Do use personal experience, but don’t only use it.

Writing about sex if you’ve never had it might be a challenge, but just because it’s a challenge doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Your fantasy may well be fantasies shared by others, so you’d do them a disservice by not guiding them through it. However, I read a book recently where anytime the man penetrated the woman, she immediately shattered apart in some sort of mind boggling orgasm. This pulled me out of the story. Using your personal experiences might be helpful in remembering what is biologically possible, and what is too outlandish to believe, even in fiction.

Don’t be embarrassed.

This may be the most important thing to bear in mind: you’re writing a sex book. Don’t be shy! So your mom might read it? Your in laws? Your boss? Your dad? The question becomes: do you want to write your book or theirs? If the answer is your book, then don’t hesitate to go balls deep (pun very much intended) and let your freak flag fly.

Elizabeth Stephens is a romance and science fiction author. Her newest release, The Hunting Town, came out July 16, 2017 and is a small town, mafia romance. Last year saw the publication of Saltlands, book two in a dystopian romance series which began with Population. More information can be found on her website, which also provides a free step-by-step self-publishing guide for aspiring authors.

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My thoughts are my own, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale), Instagram (write2unpack), or Twitter (@write2unpack). If you have any topics you’d like to talk about, reach out to me at write2unpack@gmail.com. Oh, hey, and if you sign up to follow me you’ll never miss a post!

Melsplaining Manspreading

With very few exceptions, males of the human race have balls. Literally. Testicles that hang between their legs at their crotch, and after the age of, oh, I’d say 7? they take up enough space to make it uncomfortable for boys to sit with their legs tightly together. I don’t know for certain because I don’t actually have testicles, but I have a brother, had 2 husbands, raised 7 boys – and that’s 20 testicles.

The Best Husband Ever and I were having a conversation and it went something like this:

Him: “What are you writing about today?”

Me: “I was thinking about ‘manspreading.’ Orin sent me a link, and it’s illegal in Spain now.”

Him: “What’s ‘manspreading?’”

Me: “When guys sit in chairs with their legs all splayed open so they take up more than one seat.”

Him: “When did guys start doing that?”

Me: “Seriously?!?!?! How about ‘always?’”

Men have, as far as I know, always sat in chairs with their legs splayed open. Supposedly because the size of their testicles has precluded them from sitting in the confines of just one chair. Now, I understand that the extra junk between your legs is sensitive, and squishing them is uncomfortable, so I don’t believe men sitting with their knees tightly together would be suitable.  What I’m talking about is the excessive splaying of legs to take more than one seat – on the bus, in the airplane, in the movie theater… wherever.

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I’ve seen posts where guys say it’s The Feminists who have created this phenomenon, but I think it’s because dudes are being called out on their lack of manners. It’s not ok if women take more space, because they don’t have testicles, but since guys do – it’s ok. I disagree. People get angry if a large person sits next to them and encroaches on their space, but if a guy just bangs into you with his knees because he has testicles, that’s ok? What about pregnant women? They have an entire baby between their legs! I think it’s rude of anyone to encroach on another’s space. If there’s no one next to you, or standing without a seat because you’ve taken two, great – spread out. I would too. It’s more comfortable and you’re not being rude.

I’m not sure how I feel about the law in Madrid. On one hand I think it’s great. It’s about time someone stopped the obnoxious discourteousness of space hogs. On the other, what’s next? If bad manners are illegal, then when will not standing up and allowing an elderly person your seat on a bus, or not holding a door for a lady be criminal? If we ban being rude, then can we also make using common sense a law? I’ve always wondered why it’s called “common” sense when it seems so uncommon – but that’s a blog for another time.

So this week, my readers, I encourage you to be mindful of manspreading (and shebagging). Is it still manspreading if there’s no one next to you and no one else who needs a seat? Should it be illegal or is it just ill-mannered? If you have testicles, is it possible to sit in just one seat? Is it just another insecure show of “my junk is bigger than your junk?” You make the call.

My thoughts are my own, but my pictures are generally found on Pinterest (you can find anything there!). If you like what I write, please share with your friends or someone you think would like it! I’d love it if you follow me on Facebook (Melissa Gale), Instagram (write2unpack), or Twitter (@write2unpack). If you have any topics you’d like to talk about, reach out to me at write2unpack@gmail.com. Oh, hey, and if you sign up to follow me you’ll never miss a post!