This week the Universe brought me some guy-friends who were out-of-the-blue charming. They’re nice guys, but their charm is that little sparkly bit that caught my eye. Clearly a sign that I should write about it, right?
Everyone loves a charming man, but what is it about them that makes them charming? What do they do that instantly causes a girl to… well, go all girly. There are more than 5 things charming guys do, but for the sake of blog brevity, today I’m sticking to just 5.
1. Smile
Easily the most obvious and simple things a guy can do that is charming. I’m not talking about the kind of smile that stops half-way up his face, or the one with all the teeth, but a genuine smile that comes from within and lights up his face.
The right kind of smile is disarming, can diffuse a tense situation, and instantly soften a girl’s heart. You know the kind. The kind of smile that shines from inside and crinkles the corner of his eyes. And if he drops his gaze and then peeks sideways… instant intensity.
2. Say nice things
Not a line that he’s been using on every woman, regardless of the success rate. When a guy knows what’s important to a girl, something that is unique to her and maybe not everyone knows, and then compliments her on it.
I was talking with a friend this week and the conversation went something like this:
Me: “Blah blah blah, work talk, words, words, words.”
Him: “Yeah, it sucks. Blah blah blah, words.”
Me: “Did this thing happen? Because if it did, then you need to do this other thing.”
Him: “… I read your blog. I liked it…”
And Bam! Just like that I was set back on my heels. There we were talking about work and other stuff when suddenly he complimented me – genuinely. Girls love to be called “pretty” or “hot” or “beautiful,” but a charming guy is one who has listened and compliments her on what is important to her.
3. Kneel
This one I can’t quite pin down. Is it because we think of Prince Charming? Is it the humbleness? The fact that guys are generally stronger and taller and when they kneel before us they appear to surrender, open themselves and to elevate us?
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I think it was the vulnerability that was charming.
4. Strategic placement of touch
The majority of communication is non-verbal. Touch can influence behavior, solidify your point, and it has the happy side-effect of making the person doing the touching more attractive and, you guessed it… charming.
A guy who gently places his hand on the small of a lady’s back as he holds the door for her shows her that he is caring for her. I’m not talking life commitment, simply that he has manners and is kind enough to help her through the doorway.
I met my husband at a bar (yep, that’s right – a bar). The first time we met he walked me to my car. He held the door for me and gently placed his hand on the small of my back as I walked through. When he put his hand on my back he also touched skin (don’t smile like that, it was just the small of my back). I was instantly charmed by his manners and the touch solidified it.
Brief touches though, not lingering. That’s just creepy.
5. Respond
Today I’m just talking about a guy who will return a call, or a text, or an e-mail. Different than “responsiveness in a guy.” That’s a topic for a different and less “G” rated blog.
I was charmed twice this week by friends who responded to my texts. One of them I thanked for always responding and he said, “You’ll always get a response.” Yep, that’s charming. The other friend texted me and apologized for taking so long to respond – that’s “two-for.” Charming because he’s taken the time to respond, and charming because he’s apologizing for not responding sooner. Manners are definitely charming.
A guy who takes the time to respond to a girl (timely or not), showing her that she’s important to him, is charming.
I realized that “being genuine” was a critical factor in all of these things. No one likes a fake, and the genuineness of each of the gestures above is what makes them charming. Without the honesty, the gestures feel deceitful and empty. With the honesty, the gestures have intent and are impactful.
At one point last week, after being paid an honest compliment by a friend, I smiled and bit my lip. You know a guy’s got the goods when he can make a girl bite her lip.