The game was a massacre. My 10 year old loves soccer and, next to training to be the next American Ninja Warrior, soccer is his favorite sport. Ahren is a perfectionist and believes that he should be the best at everything – including soccer. Well, he’s not. He’s a crazy-good athlete and super competitive, but his team was beat 21-1 last night.
Another thing he’s not the best at is losing. He was upset and crying because they didn’t win and were beaten so badly. Now, I’m all for winning – winning is good, but sometimes you lose and your attitude when you lose says more about you than your attitude when you win. We had a conversation in the car on the way to dinner and it struck me how soccer can teach my son things he needs to learn to be successful in life. And so this week’s blog post was born!
1. You can’t choose what other players do or how they play, but you can choose what you do and how you play. Ahren was upset that they didn’t win, but he had no control over how the other team played. We talked about how since he couldn’t control the other team it was really a waste of time worrying about that, and what he needed to focus on what how he was playing and do the absolute best he could. We can’t control what other people do, what we can control is ourselves. Focus on that.
2. Your attitude affects more than just you. He was upset they were losing so badly and had a bad attitude about it. His bad attitude then affected the other players, and the coach had to stop watching the game and coaching the players to talk to him and bolster him up. We talked in the car about how attitudes are infectious and how when he was having a bad attitude it infected his teammates and then his coach. Bad attitudes spread, but so do good ones. Next time he promised he’d be infected with a good attitude so everyone would “catch” the good.
3. Soccer is a team sport. In soccer each player depends on the other player to be in their position, to help them out when they’re fighting for the ball, and to support and encourage them. We need that in life too. We count on our friends and families to be there when we need them, to help us out when we’re fighting whatever battle comes up, and for love and support. Ahren needed to remember to do the same. He was so wrapped up in his sadness at losing that he dropped out of position and wasn’t there to cheer his teammates for a good pass or for a great kick. We talked about how if everyone did that the team wouldn’t work. We rely on our friends and families, and they rely on us.
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4. Sometimes the coach puts you in a position that is not your favorite – it’s important to play your best and hardest in whatever position you’re in. Ahren started the game as a defender, but prefers to play as mid-fielder so he runs more and is both offense and defense. His team was really fighting hard against the opposing team, and Ahren is such a strong player the coach wanted him on defense. We talked about how sometimes you’re put where you’re needed even though it may not be your favorite, and how important it is to play hard where ever you are. In life sometimes we find ourselves in situations we don’t like. It’s important to be our best self and fight hard where we are.
5. Don’t get so caught up in what’s going wrong that you can’t see how amazing you really are. Ahren was so upset that he wasn’t able to steal the ball as much as normal, that he wasn’t getting passed to as much, and that he couldn’t shoot on the goal like he usually does. What he didn’t see was that he was the fastest player out there. That kid can hustle, and when chasing a the ball he would catch up to and pass the other players, but he was too upset at how the game was going he missed how incredible he was playing. Bad things happen every day. Don’t get so wrapped up in the bad that you miss the good.
This week, my reader, I challenge you to take the lessons my 10 year old son learned from soccer and apply them to your life. Realize that life is a team sport, and it’s important for us to be the one who can be counted on for defense, or support, when the world gets tough on our teammates.
